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In a bold turnaround, President Obama announced during a press conference today that he is determined to turn the economy around.
"With this deficit and with our looming recession, the time cannot be more urgent," the President said. "That is why I have taken a step that the previous Administration deemed too 'radical.'"
The President then showed a picture of a funny-looking troll, who was working a spinning wheel.
"This," the President motioned, "Is the solution to all our problems."
Named Rumplestiltskin, this mythical creature is believed to spin straw into gold. The Treasury Department estimates that the troll could create up to $3 trillion for the federal budget this year alone.
"It's really an efficient idea," said Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, "We waste over 10,000 tons of straw each month. If these are spun into gold, hell, even silver, we're doing really well."
Critics have blasted the President's new plan, deeming it "unrealistic," "fanciful," and "mind-bogglingly stupid." They point out that Rumplestiltskin is a fiction character created to scare unruly children.
"Seriously," said Arizona Senator John McCain, "I lost to this guy?"
The Senator then walked out of the Senate Chambers and kicked a dog.
Special thanks to Professor Q. Pepper, for giving us this idea.
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