10. Practices his "angry face" to try to look tough when talking about terrorism.
9. Looks in mirror and says, "It was all President Bush's fault" over and over again.
8. Makes March Madness brackets instead of attending to less important things, like talking North Korea out of invading South Korea.
7. Does a lot of push-ups and sit-ups, just in case Putin challenges him to a fight.
6. Forces himself to cry, you know, just so he's ready if he needs to for support.
5. Prank calls Hillary Clinton.
4. Puts "kick me" signs on Joe Biden's back during important conferences.
3. Practices talking smoothly so he can convince Americans that another Stimulus Bill is necessary.
2. Burns ants with a magnifying glass.
1. Reading on the internet about whether he in the Anti-Christ or not.
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