Friday, April 10, 2009

Obama to Replace Presidential Limo With Scooter

President Obama has signaled a major shift in Presidential policy by announcing yesterday that the Presidential limo will be retired by the end of 2009.

"In order to help the nation deal with the rising crisis of global warming, I have decided to lower my carbon footprint for the good of the planet," the President said.

The current Presidential limo is rated at five miles per gallon, while the proposed replacement, a 2010 Vespa will get up to 110. Some are concerned due to the fact that the new scooters would only have a top speed of 35 miles per hour, when traveling downhill.

Security is also a concern. The Presidential limo can withstand a direct hit from a grenade. The moped is currently unable to withstand a direct strike from a rotten tomato.

In addition, the small moped would require the President to travel alone. This would reduce the chances of important talks on long trips, like to Camp David. In addition, the President would have to carry his children to school on his back while riding the moped.

"These are all important issues," said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, "But the President will be able to reduce our collective carbon footprint by three pounds a year."

Experts point out that the same carbon footprint could be saved by the President not leaving his microwave plugged in overnight.

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