Monday, September 15, 2014

We're Moving...Mostly

The Jumping in Pools you know and love will be kind of moving, sort of, a little bit... okay maybe a lot.  While the humor and occasional satire will stay right here, we're taking our political writings and opinion and starting fresh over at a new website. Please check us out there. Remember to follow and subscribe over there!

Oh, and Kirsten Gillibrand may have said she got the most votes, but I call it fraud.  There is no way in bloody hell that she defeated my strategy.  I spoke at Mills twice!  Someone even offered to buy me a loaf of bread, you know, before I punched them in the face.  So, for all extents and purposes, I'm still running for Senate.  Joe will not be defeated!

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Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Fort Hood Shooting Information 4/2/2014

Some bad news coming out of Fort Hood-- the site of a mass shooting five years ago.

The latest: - KCEN HD - Waco, Temple, and Killeen

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Did the Groundhog See His Shadow? 2014

It's a cherished tradition on February 2nd in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. A groundhog named Phil pops his furry little head out of the ground and tells us whether or not we'll have six more weeks of winter or if spring will come early.

Well, that's come to an end this year. Punxsutawney Phil did appear out of his little hole this morning, only to keel over dead, grasping his little rodent chest.

"I don't know what happened." said Hannah Jerome, 11, "We were here with the entire elementary school when the funny-looking cat shrieked and fell into the dirt. When our teacher went to go look, she started to cry and shouted that it was 'one of the signs.'"

While Biblical scholars may be divided about a lot of things, one of the clear signals of the Apocalypse, as written by St. John of Lemnos was that a small groundhog would die, portending the rise of Satan.

"I done know who done did this!" shouted local preacher Kenneth Lambeau, "It was that Obama! I done told you that he's them anti-Christ!"

The death of Punxsutawney Phil was a tragedy for the small Pennsylvania town, otherwise known for an offensive sulfur smell. Phil was a mainstay of the community. When asked if the town could get a new groundhog, spokeswoman Kay Rainwater said, "Punxsutawney Phil was born of magic and happiness and has been alive for thousands of years. We can't just replace him."

The death of the groundhog appears to be one of the many appearing signs of the End Times. Among these include the removal of the Baconator from Wendy's menu, the rise of reality television, and the appearance of Jack Black.

"We need to take the biggest shovel we done got and build us a whole fifty cubits deep!" shouted Lambeau, "Repent, the end is at hand!"

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Monday, November 4, 2013

Wonderful Products from WestcomUSA

The other day I received a package that I have been eagerly anticipating through UPS. On my door step were twelve solar lights coming from the site YesComUSA.

In short, I love them! They are an excellent addition to my household and are so good that I even gave some to my father to put around his house. These sturdy lights are a great way to make sure that you can keep the ambiance around your house and to keep things lighted without having to worry about wiring them or on electricity costs.

These solar lights are a wonderful addition to my house. I would recommend them to anyone that wants an inexpensive, great way to keep some light around your house and keep it looking good.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

London Beheading Photo 5/23/2013

Of the killer. Disturbing.