Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Horrible Ideas

Well, I've been thinking about several ideas for video games over the last couple of years. Anyone who wants to design them is free to help me out.
Here are some gems:

1. Hiroshima: This game's objectives seem clear in the beginning. Realizing the coming atomic attack, you try to exit the doomed city. Instead, there is no way out. The whole point of the game is to realize that you must go into the center of the city to die the quickest (i.e. least painful) death possible.
There may be a secret ending where you make it to a refugee camp... in Nagasaki.

2. Grand Theft Auto: Cobleskill: In this incarnation of the series, the player must work his way to the top of the seething crime world that inhabits Schoharie County. The fastest car in the game is Dr. Salvador Rivera's 1984 yellow Camaro with the license plate "GENTRY."
Who's a 14 year-old immigrant child now?

3. Abortion Doctor Tycoon: You must build up a business empire in this lucrative and emotionally rewarding trade. You can work your way up from simple (punching, coat hangars) to advanced (post-birth, RU-481). You can also make political contributions to forestall a Republican administration.

There are others, but they are also offensive.... I mean even more so.

So be safe and eat lots of fiber.