Good Read

A good article about the current state of the Caucasus.

Go Georgia!

http://michaeltotten.com/

Also, wandering around U Albany as though I was an actual student. Classes start tomorrow.

Score One for Matty

Well,
Soon enough the summer will be over, but not without its confidence-boosting effects.

For my first month I worked at my dream job: the night shift at a gas station.
For the second I worked in Oneonta.

But last week I got to go to Plattburgh.

There I got to hang out with Joshua and Safina Green.

Next week I start at 90% female St. Rose for a degree in education.

Unfortunately, world events took a negative turn.

So let me start with some inanity:

My favorite nations as of August 2008, not counting America (fuck, yeah!):

1. Iraqi Kurdistan
2. Albania/Kosovo
3. Georgia
4. Israel
5. Poland
6. the Ukraine

Least favorite:

1. Russia (see Georgia)
2. Iran
3. Syria
4. Sudan
5. North Korea
6. Serbia (see Kosovo)
7. China

However, some things must be noted:

For our musical performances during EOP Summer Academy, I was pushing hard for either Total Eclipse of the Heart or for It's My Life by No Doubt. Unfortunately we didn't do either.

There's not really much here, but I kinda felt like writing.

Whoooo

EOP Summer Academy

For all of my loyal, bleating fans waiting on every word as though it was the sweet succor of mother's milk, I have returned.
I may not write much more in the near future, but I feel that I owe my minions at least a small update on my status.

During July 2008 I accepted an offer to become a tutor for the EOP Program at SUNY Oneonta.

During the short month, I must reveal that I became much less a simple Resident Tutor and more a sort of idol. In this time, I received my new stylin' hairdo which I sport everywhere. I made sure that I listened to the kids and acted as a responsible young man (at least that's what I tell people.) In this time, I gained both notoriety and popularity as the member of the staff who was "cool." For those not as familiar with me, this came from my stylistic lingo and my willingness to "keep it real."

In addition, Summer Academy taught me much. I have become a little more stubborn and a little less patient. These developments are overwhelmingly positive, especially considering my future as authoritarian leader of the future global Caliphate.

Naturally, a summer would not be complete without politics. In several days, I was able to convert most of the students to my unique political views while making them surrogates of my plans of world domination.

Of course, I also wowed the incoming pre-freshmen with my sense of celebrity. No, I didn't tell them about my band, The Broken Roses. Instead, me and Sebastian Saavedra (one of the students) performed My Shiny Teeth and Me by Chip Skylark. The applause was reminiscent of an ancient Roman lion fight after the big cats had devoured defenseless Christian children. Next, with the immense help of Mandy Bohorquez, the three of us performed Helena by My Chemical Romance. Decked in emo makeup, we clearly exceeded the quality of the music video.


There's more... and perhaps you mortals will be able to hear of it.

TIP: Buy me umbrellas for the torrents in my soul!

Terrible Ideas

Well, greetings to my loyal subjects-- er, fans.

For that one homeless guy that reads this, this one is for you:

Recently I've been thinking about my High School days. Transitioning from school to school sometimes makes you reflect and think, "Gee, I wish I was taller." or "I'm really happy that I have both of my arms." In that tradition, I'd like to share some of my ruminations:

One thing I clearly remember was one of my favorite teachers, Bryan Pisano. The mild-mannered Italian was always on time, well-dressed, and polite. Naturally this led to basically everyone taking advantage of him. If he told us that an assignment was due in a week, you could bet that someone would be complaining that he'd never said that. If he told us to discuss our career plans one bearded kid would go up to the board and state he was going to be a porn star.

After I graduated he moved on from the fast lane of Middleburgh High School and hopped a flight to California. There Mr. Pisano started his acting career. I'm sure you've seen all of his films. But just in case:

http://wikibin.org/articles/bryan-pisano.html
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2961847/
http://enjoymymovie.com/films.php?cat=trailers
http://www.studentfilms.com/film/get.do?id=1214

To Mr. Pisano: best of luck. Please remember to buy me a house. I'm looking out for you!



I wanted to add more things from my high school writings but apparently I can't find them. I might not be looking hard enough but they might have slipped through an interdimensional timewarp like what happened to me and Ryan Lentz in New Jersey.

What I'm listening to: I've downloaded the Ramones, The Presidents of the United States of America, and right now a Phil Hendrie assortment is chugging along at 97.9%. It's bitchin'!


Letters to a Young Contrarian Thinking of Becoming a Douchebag:

Safina Roe: youre not becoming one of those people
orfannkyl: but i wanna
orfannkyl: being a scumbag has been my lifelong dream
orfannkyl: so get me a tattoo, a drinking problem, herpes, and a guitar I can't play, cause it's time to become someone i hate.

It's Raining in My Soul:

orfannkyl: and you and josh would have me dressing in black
orfannkyl: and wearing a raincoat all the time
orfannkyl: and people would say, "why are you wearing a raincoat in december?"
orfannkyl: and I'd say, "cause it's raining in my soul!"



Remember: the truth is out there: www.coasttocoastam.com

Horrible Ideas

Well, I've been thinking about several ideas for video games over the last couple of years. Anyone who wants to design them is free to help me out.
Here are some gems:

1. Hiroshima: This game's objectives seem clear in the beginning. Realizing the coming atomic attack, you try to exit the doomed city. Instead, there is no way out. The whole point of the game is to realize that you must go into the center of the city to die the quickest (i.e. least painful) death possible.
There may be a secret ending where you make it to a refugee camp... in Nagasaki.

2. Grand Theft Auto: Cobleskill: In this incarnation of the series, the player must work his way to the top of the seething crime world that inhabits Schoharie County. The fastest car in the game is Dr. Salvador Rivera's 1984 yellow Camaro with the license plate "GENTRY."
Who's a 14 year-old immigrant child now?

3. Abortion Doctor Tycoon: You must build up a business empire in this lucrative and emotionally rewarding trade. You can work your way up from simple (punching, coat hangars) to advanced (post-birth, RU-481). You can also make political contributions to forestall a Republican administration.


There are others, but they are also offensive.... I mean even more so.

So be safe and eat lots of fiber.