Jonas Brothers: Smoking is Awesome

THIS ARTICLE IS FAKE! It is called "satire." Look it up in a special book called a "dictionary."

The tween world was turned upside down when it was revealed in Tiger Beat magazine that all three of the Jonas Brothers smoked cigarettes.

"Smoking's fucking great." said Joe Jonas, "It's the best fucking thing for a kid who's like thirteen or fourteen to do."

"Yeah," said Nick Jonas, who was also smoking, "It's just what I need in the morning. Whoever doesn't smoke is a real loser." Nick then did the "loser" symbol on his forehead.

It was a real surprise to many, as the Jonas Brothers made headlines by talking about how they would be abstinent. However, they all smoke at least three packs a day.

"Marlboro is the best, man." said Joe, "Marlboro Reds are exactly what everyone should be doing. Yeah, they also gave me an endorsement deal, but that doesn't change the smooth, clean, taste of these great cigarettes."

It must be noted that this is the biggest tween scandal since Miley Cyrus became pregnant two years ago or since Demi Lovato was caught murdering her siblings, who also wanted to be pregnant.

"I wasn't going to become the Lovato Sisters." she later said, "No fucking way."


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First Post for 2009

Hello everyone, Happy New Year. Hopefully tonight you are filled with joy and you are looking forward to a bright year. Another thing I hope you're doing tonight is listening to Coast to Coast a.m.'s yearly prediction show. Hosted by the epic Art Bell, it's a great listen, for the plausible predictions by callers and the insane ones. My favorite so far is:

#60- Disney will try to buy Christmas.