10. Challenged Kim Jong-Il to "fisticuffs." 9. Learned where the Middle East is. 8. Declared that he is "more popular than Jesus." 7. Was told that, despite his adamant beliefs, that the United Kingdom was no longer an Absolute Monarchy. 6. Watched more of the NCAA Basketball Tournament than he watched the situation in Pakistan. 5. Realized that "Checks and Balances" had nothing to do with money or banks. 4. Blamed President Bush for every conceivable problem, including his backed-up plumbing. 3. Defeated Chuck Norris in karate. 2. Asked Iran repeatedly, "Why can't we all just get along?" 1. Went to Europe and blamed the United States for hating Europeans. Came back, and blamed Bush for Americans hating Europeans.
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Considering that the Elite Eight is this weekend, I will list my eight greatest NCAA tourney moments: 8. My shocking double-take of Iowa State-Hampton, 2001 tournament 7. Me leading Syracuse to the National Championship in 2003 6. Streaking in Davidson and blinding Stephen Curry. 5. Inventing basketball and teaching Bobby Knight how to coach. 4. Slam dunking the ball over Shaquille O'Neil. 3. Me leading George Mason to the Final Four in 2006 after I transfered from Syracuse. 2. Being drafted number one in the NBA Draft in 2010, after leading the Oneonta Red Dragons to its first NCAA title. 1. Indiana's run to the national championship game, 2002
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