Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Saturday, April 16, 2011
The Room- "I Did NAAAAT"
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Thursday, September 9, 2010
FAIL of the Day
Sure, we're a political blog, but this is hilarious:
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Saturday, July 10, 2010
Peter from 'The Room' in Old Spice Commercial
Bwahahahahahaha:
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Friday, February 5, 2010
How to Report the News
Funny (with one f-word, so heads-up thinned-skinned):
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Monday, November 23, 2009
Bruno Review
Umlauten
Brüno, Sacha Baron Cohen's much anticipated follow up to the very nice Borat, hit DVD and Blu-ray this past week, so I figured I'd give it a review.
For anyone who doesn't know already, Brüno centers around an Austrian fashionista named (gasp) Brüno. And from this point forward, I'm going to stop using the umlaut because it's annoying. Anyway, Bruno screws up real bad at a European fashion exposé and he falls from the heights of fame. Thus he comes to the United States to become famous and escape his blacklisting in Europe.
Squandered Chances
The rest of the movie is pretty much Cohen's character trying to become famous. They include absurdities like creating a television show that ends in graphic male nudity, a sex tape with Ron Paul, and attempting crazy interviews with celebrities.
As funny as this may sound, most of the movie falls flat when it comes to laughs. Unlike Borat, where scenes would go on for at times ten minutes, Bruno seems littered with very short scenes. They each serve a purpose (something crazy happens, normal and unsuspecting people react) and the movie cuts to the next scene.
Not Very Nice (No High Five)
Another big problem with the movie is that the title character does not seem to have any nuance to him. Borat would use the same lines once in a while, high five people, refer to Gypsies, et cetera, to the point where you could see a "personality" inside the character. Bruno has no personality it seems, and the entire film you are aware that you're watching Sacha Baron Cohen pretend to be someone.
Unfortunately, suspension of disbelief is not always there, and something happens that you DO NOT want to happen in a film like this... you sometimes feel sorry for the people being fooled.
It's Not All Bad
Don't get me wrong, though, there are some laughs to be had. The "photos" Bruno took with his "son" are humorous to watch, as well as some of the scene where he goes hunting and camping.
But the hilarity does not last. Much too much is scatter-shot. Most of the humor seems not to be supposed to be, well, funny. Instead, it seems like Cohen is just trying to freak people out the whole movie. While this is all well and good sometimes, it desperately needs variance or it becomes quite boring quite quickly.
The Final Verdict
All in all, Bruno is not a bad film to watch and it does garner some hard-earned laughs. The problem it faces is the same formula for almost every scene with a paper thin character. Do not watch this film thinking you will see the equivalent of a new Borat because you will be disappointed.
In the end, I give it a disappointing 5.5 out of 10
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Brüno, Sacha Baron Cohen's much anticipated follow up to the very nice Borat, hit DVD and Blu-ray this past week, so I figured I'd give it a review.
For anyone who doesn't know already, Brüno centers around an Austrian fashionista named (gasp) Brüno. And from this point forward, I'm going to stop using the umlaut because it's annoying. Anyway, Bruno screws up real bad at a European fashion exposé and he falls from the heights of fame. Thus he comes to the United States to become famous and escape his blacklisting in Europe.
Squandered ChancesThe rest of the movie is pretty much Cohen's character trying to become famous. They include absurdities like creating a television show that ends in graphic male nudity, a sex tape with Ron Paul, and attempting crazy interviews with celebrities.
As funny as this may sound, most of the movie falls flat when it comes to laughs. Unlike Borat, where scenes would go on for at times ten minutes, Bruno seems littered with very short scenes. They each serve a purpose (something crazy happens, normal and unsuspecting people react) and the movie cuts to the next scene.
The problem is that this gets very old very quickly. The charm of Borat is that Cohen has to think on his feet and react to the totally expectable shock of the unsuspecting. With Bruno, he says something crazy, people react, next scene, he does something crazy, people react, next scene, he asks something crazy, people react, next scene. Every scene seems much too scripted. Personally, I don't believe that the best scene in Bruno is as funny as the worst (or least best) in Borat.
Borat: Funny
Not Very Nice (No High Five)
Another big problem with the movie is that the title character does not seem to have any nuance to him. Borat would use the same lines once in a while, high five people, refer to Gypsies, et cetera, to the point where you could see a "personality" inside the character. Bruno has no personality it seems, and the entire film you are aware that you're watching Sacha Baron Cohen pretend to be someone.
Unfortunately, suspension of disbelief is not always there, and something happens that you DO NOT want to happen in a film like this... you sometimes feel sorry for the people being fooled.It's Not All Bad
Don't get me wrong, though, there are some laughs to be had. The "photos" Bruno took with his "son" are humorous to watch, as well as some of the scene where he goes hunting and camping.
But the hilarity does not last. Much too much is scatter-shot. Most of the humor seems not to be supposed to be, well, funny. Instead, it seems like Cohen is just trying to freak people out the whole movie. While this is all well and good sometimes, it desperately needs variance or it becomes quite boring quite quickly.
The Final Verdict
All in all, Bruno is not a bad film to watch and it does garner some hard-earned laughs. The problem it faces is the same formula for almost every scene with a paper thin character. Do not watch this film thinking you will see the equivalent of a new Borat because you will be disappointed.
In the end, I give it a disappointing 5.5 out of 10
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Thursday, November 5, 2009
Obama to Promote Calvin Klein's Newest Cologne: "Recession"
WASHINGTON- To combat dropping sales of Calvin Klein's Obsession cologne, and spread awareness of unemployment, the multi-billion dollar corporation has received the aid of America's biggest celebrity: the President.
"It was weird, you know," Klein said in an exclusive interview. "The President gave me a call, telling me that the government would always be there if my company started losing money. He was a God-send.
"I asked him, you know, 'don't you have to combat unemployment,' and he was like, 'what now?' So I told him about unemployment breaking ten percent. He didn't know what I was talking about, but he kept saying 'wow, people should really know about this employment thing.'
"It just so happened that sales had also been declining for us and a brand-new cologne was dropping that week," Klein continued. "I had a genius idea: combine the new cologne and unemployment. It was a match made in heaven.
"All I did was ask him to do an ad or two, and he asked 'when and where?' Just like that."
Recession, which is going to be available to the public this Christmas season, is highly anticipated by cologne enthusiasts. It is also expected to revive slumping Calvin Klein sales.
According to Klein PR sources, ads featuring the President will start airing in mid-November. These ads have been carefully protected, and few details are known about them.
However, PR sources have confirmed that President Obama will be featured prominently in the ads. Furthermore, it is confirmed that the President will be shown shirtless and will whisper "Recession" in camera close-ups.
"I am looking forward to these ads," stated the President Monday. "Calvin is a good friend of mine and I'm always looking to help him out. He also promised me a free case of the stuff, so I'll be smelling like Recession for months to come."
There is no word yet if the Recession will affect the President's approval rating.
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"It was weird, you know," Klein said in an exclusive interview. "The President gave me a call, telling me that the government would always be there if my company started losing money. He was a God-send.
"I asked him, you know, 'don't you have to combat unemployment,' and he was like, 'what now?' So I told him about unemployment breaking ten percent. He didn't know what I was talking about, but he kept saying 'wow, people should really know about this employment thing.'
"It just so happened that sales had also been declining for us and a brand-new cologne was dropping that week," Klein continued. "I had a genius idea: combine the new cologne and unemployment. It was a match made in heaven.
"All I did was ask him to do an ad or two, and he asked 'when and where?' Just like that."
Recession, which is going to be available to the public this Christmas season, is highly anticipated by cologne enthusiasts. It is also expected to revive slumping Calvin Klein sales.
According to Klein PR sources, ads featuring the President will start airing in mid-November. These ads have been carefully protected, and few details are known about them.
However, PR sources have confirmed that President Obama will be featured prominently in the ads. Furthermore, it is confirmed that the President will be shown shirtless and will whisper "Recession" in camera close-ups.
"I am looking forward to these ads," stated the President Monday. "Calvin is a good friend of mine and I'm always looking to help him out. He also promised me a free case of the stuff, so I'll be smelling like Recession for months to come."
There is no word yet if the Recession will affect the President's approval rating.
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Friday, October 30, 2009
Joe's Babe of the Week
Hello, all, Dr. Joe reporting. Don't touch me, I'm sterile! Anyway, I was relaxing on a gondola the other day, my man-servant Jacques pushing the boat, as I sipped on the sweat of an Olympic athlete mixed with the blood of a cougar. Of course, on my mind was those all-important babes! I was wracking my brain, trying to think of a woman who thinks she's pretty, but says she's ugly, even though she actually is ugly. Then it came to me.
This Week's Babe:
America Ferrera
Known far and wide for her television role as Ugly Betty, the show recently had her "transform" into a non-ugly person. How they missed the mark! No matter, Dr. Joe will still give you any prescription you want (including 2 Joes daily, to be taken ora... no I mean as a supposit...err, never mind).
With her trademark braces, flat hair, and ugly face, America Ferrera should never have shown her real face in public. You know, so people could fantasize that she really wasn't ugly, that it was all part of a show. A show I tell you!
So take it from me gents, this babe is mine, ugly or not.
Joe's America Score: 9.0/10 Crappy TV Shows
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This Week's Babe:
America Ferrera
Known far and wide for her television role as Ugly Betty, the show recently had her "transform" into a non-ugly person. How they missed the mark! No matter, Dr. Joe will still give you any prescription you want (including 2 Joes daily, to be taken ora... no I mean as a supposit...err, never mind).With her trademark braces, flat hair, and ugly face, America Ferrera should never have shown her real face in public. You know, so people could fantasize that she really wasn't ugly, that it was all part of a show. A show I tell you!
So take it from me gents, this babe is mine, ugly or not.Joe's America Score: 9.0/10 Crappy TV Shows
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Thursday, June 25, 2009
Headlines of the Media if John McCain were President
Mr. K recently did a piece about 'what if John McCain were President," so I figured a do a (hopefully) funny piece about potential media headlines if John McCain were President:
Senator Obama takes tough stance on Health Care, votes "Present"
Unemployment Explodes to 8%
Iran Crushes Opposition, President McCain Blindly Says They are "Bad"
"Vice President Palin Builds Giant Tower on top of Home in Alaska, States that she can see Mexico from her House"
World Peace Declared; Could the President be Doing More for Our Relations Over-Seas?
"John McCain is Old"
Sarah Palin: A Bad Mother and a Bad Person... More at Eleven (although this one is already a headline)
North Korean Government Falls, Senator Obama States that it is "All Thanks to Him"
"How the World would be a Better Place if Obama were President"
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Senator Obama takes tough stance on Health Care, votes "Present"
Unemployment Explodes to 8%
Iran Crushes Opposition, President McCain Blindly Says They are "Bad"
"Vice President Palin Builds Giant Tower on top of Home in Alaska, States that she can see Mexico from her House"
World Peace Declared; Could the President be Doing More for Our Relations Over-Seas?
"John McCain is Old"
Sarah Palin: A Bad Mother and a Bad Person... More at Eleven (although this one is already a headline)
North Korean Government Falls, Senator Obama States that it is "All Thanks to Him"
"How the World would be a Better Place if Obama were President"
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Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Jib Jab: What We Call the News
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Thursday, June 11, 2009
FAIL of the Day
see more Fail Blog
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Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Obama Watches "Terminator Salvation," Vows to Destroy Skynet
WASHINGTON- In an attempt to destroy "robots that will destroy human civilization," President Obama Tuesday announced his plans to destroy Skynet, a computer defense system used by the military.
The abrupt announcement of the President's plan to destroy the system came after watching "Terminator: Salvation," which reportedly "scared the crap" out of the Commander in Chief.
"It has come to my attention that research is currently in progress which plans to use computer-controlled robots and software to aid our military," Obama said at a press conference on Tuesday. "These machines will not only fly missions in planes, but also strategize with our army forces and control our nuclear arsenal.
"I do not have to tell you all how dangerous this is. It seems like a good idea now; having some computer control forces, which will inevitably decrease human casualties. But I know for a fact that these... things have a high probability to gain sentience. With this, they will not only control our greatest weaponry, but they will be controlled by no one.
"That is why I have conducted talks with the Governor of California to find a way to put an end to Skynet. Though he assures me that he is not a T-800 sent back in time, I was convinced he was when he gave me a thumbs-up as he descended into a vat of molten metal.
"Terminator Schwarzenegger and I have come up with a comprehensive plan to destroy Cyberdyne, after we convince a top scientist that his research is evil. Afterwords, we hope to secure the safety of the 85,000 John Connors that currently reside in the United States."
The President also said in the conference that he plans to put his words into action by this coming July, hoping that robots do not take over the world by then, causing a nuclear Apocalypse.
"The only problem could arise if a T-1000 is sent back in time to stop me from ever existing," the President added.
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The abrupt announcement of the President's plan to destroy the system came after watching "Terminator: Salvation," which reportedly "scared the crap" out of the Commander in Chief.
"It has come to my attention that research is currently in progress which plans to use computer-controlled robots and software to aid our military," Obama said at a press conference on Tuesday. "These machines will not only fly missions in planes, but also strategize with our army forces and control our nuclear arsenal.
"I do not have to tell you all how dangerous this is. It seems like a good idea now; having some computer control forces, which will inevitably decrease human casualties. But I know for a fact that these... things have a high probability to gain sentience. With this, they will not only control our greatest weaponry, but they will be controlled by no one.
"That is why I have conducted talks with the Governor of California to find a way to put an end to Skynet. Though he assures me that he is not a T-800 sent back in time, I was convinced he was when he gave me a thumbs-up as he descended into a vat of molten metal.
"Terminator Schwarzenegger and I have come up with a comprehensive plan to destroy Cyberdyne, after we convince a top scientist that his research is evil. Afterwords, we hope to secure the safety of the 85,000 John Connors that currently reside in the United States."
The President also said in the conference that he plans to put his words into action by this coming July, hoping that robots do not take over the world by then, causing a nuclear Apocalypse.
"The only problem could arise if a T-1000 is sent back in time to stop me from ever existing," the President added.
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Obama Shocked to Learn Real Military not Run Like Game of Risk
WASHINGTON- In a surprising turn of events, months of US military planning have proved useless when it was revealed to President Obama that real armies are not used similarly to Risk, a popular board game.
The revelation comes at a time when the President has planned an invasion of North Korea because of their recent aggressive actions.
"This is terrible," said Secretary of Defense Robert Gates. "The President had planned to turn in cards and bolster the United States army. Not only would we have strengthened our forces of men, but also we'd have added a couple cannons and three horses... He even had two free men in the Eastern United States."
President Obama had planned to conquer Kamchatka from Alaska with his new army. "From there, I would be able to strike Mongolia, which is where the Korean peninsula is located," the President stated. "The only problem is that the gray army is strong there, and their roller always wants a redo when the dice go off the table."
According to sources, the Commander in Chief had even prepared for the invasion by opening older versions of Risk and placing blocks and Roman Numerals on the board.
Unfortunately, President Obama was informed late last night that the military attack would not be feasible. "They told me that my men on the board didn't really count," said Obama, referring to the Joint Chiefs of Staff. "I said that they were just jealous that I had been rolling sixes all game. But, no, they said that North Korea does not recognize the supremacy of a board game.
"On the bright side," said the President, "this won't affect my plans to invade Indonesia via Siam. If I can get Australia, I'll get two extra men a turn."
The President is also reportedly planning on playing Monopoly with CEOs from major US car companies.
Inter-linked at Wizbang (which is an awesome site)
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The revelation comes at a time when the President has planned an invasion of North Korea because of their recent aggressive actions.
"This is terrible," said Secretary of Defense Robert Gates. "The President had planned to turn in cards and bolster the United States army. Not only would we have strengthened our forces of men, but also we'd have added a couple cannons and three horses... He even had two free men in the Eastern United States."
President Obama had planned to conquer Kamchatka from Alaska with his new army. "From there, I would be able to strike Mongolia, which is where the Korean peninsula is located," the President stated. "The only problem is that the gray army is strong there, and their roller always wants a redo when the dice go off the table."
According to sources, the Commander in Chief had even prepared for the invasion by opening older versions of Risk and placing blocks and Roman Numerals on the board.
Unfortunately, President Obama was informed late last night that the military attack would not be feasible. "They told me that my men on the board didn't really count," said Obama, referring to the Joint Chiefs of Staff. "I said that they were just jealous that I had been rolling sixes all game. But, no, they said that North Korea does not recognize the supremacy of a board game.
"On the bright side," said the President, "this won't affect my plans to invade Indonesia via Siam. If I can get Australia, I'll get two extra men a turn."
The President is also reportedly planning on playing Monopoly with CEOs from major US car companies.
Inter-linked at Wizbang (which is an awesome site)
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Friday, June 5, 2009
Obama to Nominate 'Apology Czar'
WASHINGTON- Following in line with appointing an internet czar, pay czar, and car czar, President Obama today announced his intentions to nominate a so-called 'apology czar.'
As with other czars, this nominee would be in direct contact with the President, making certain jobs easier. In this case, the apology czar would map out where Obama would go and what he would apologize for.
In a press release, the White House detailed specific responsibilities of this new post: "The man or woman accepted to this position would coordinate proactively with groups that deserve an apology from the United States. Each group can apply for an apology via email, letter, or text message.
"Any people, nation, or ethnic group will be thoroughly investigated to verify what America did to it and when. If it is found that our nation sufficiently hurt or by any means insulted the applicant, a structured attempt to apologize to them will be planned. Regardless of the matter, the President will always apologize in person."
"Things are looking good," said Greg Scott, a secretary for President Obama. "We've already had dozens of requests. I mean, we've got a request from North Korea, Nazis who survived World War II, and poor people who want more benefits."
Speaking to the media on Thursday, President Obama made his case for Henry Harrison, whom Obama plans to nominate. "Henry is clearly the best man for this job," the President began. "He can get on his knees and beg forgiveness. Seriously, he can gravel and kiss ass like the best of them, and that's exactly what we need.
"Can he apologize to Hugo Chavez? No problem. Can he apologize to Mahmud Ahmadinejad? With ease. Heck, Henry here is so good at apologizing, he can apologize to himself!" The crowd at hand erupted in laughter, but fell dead silent when it became apparent that the President wasn't joking.
The nominee is slated to come in front of Congress this coming July.
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As with other czars, this nominee would be in direct contact with the President, making certain jobs easier. In this case, the apology czar would map out where Obama would go and what he would apologize for.
In a press release, the White House detailed specific responsibilities of this new post: "The man or woman accepted to this position would coordinate proactively with groups that deserve an apology from the United States. Each group can apply for an apology via email, letter, or text message.
"Any people, nation, or ethnic group will be thoroughly investigated to verify what America did to it and when. If it is found that our nation sufficiently hurt or by any means insulted the applicant, a structured attempt to apologize to them will be planned. Regardless of the matter, the President will always apologize in person."
"Things are looking good," said Greg Scott, a secretary for President Obama. "We've already had dozens of requests. I mean, we've got a request from North Korea, Nazis who survived World War II, and poor people who want more benefits."
Speaking to the media on Thursday, President Obama made his case for Henry Harrison, whom Obama plans to nominate. "Henry is clearly the best man for this job," the President began. "He can get on his knees and beg forgiveness. Seriously, he can gravel and kiss ass like the best of them, and that's exactly what we need.
"Can he apologize to Hugo Chavez? No problem. Can he apologize to Mahmud Ahmadinejad? With ease. Heck, Henry here is so good at apologizing, he can apologize to himself!" The crowd at hand erupted in laughter, but fell dead silent when it became apparent that the President wasn't joking.
The nominee is slated to come in front of Congress this coming July.
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The Onion: Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
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Daily LOL Cat
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LOL Politician of the Day
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LOL Dog of the Day
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Joe's Babe of the Week
Gentlemen, there are babes and there are babes. Like in the book Animal Farm, some babes are created more equal than others. Now lads, get ready to see one of the most hot-tastic women to grace your television set.
This week's babe:
Nancy Grace
Armed with a look that says, "Come hither, young men...and give me a scoop so I can blow it out of proportion," Miss Grace shines on CNN every night. Her whiny voice, semi-greasy hair, and inability to correctly detail a story are traits that things that make her a true knockout.
Some call her a sensationalist, but I call her sensational! I don't know if she's single, but she's a hot tamale with a good paying job on a crappy basic-cable news channel. Sounds like a winner all-around to me!
So remember, kids, when your mother asks you why you're watching CNN, make sure you only say it's for the news.
Joe's Sensational Score: 7.5/10 YEAHS!!!
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This week's babe:
Nancy Grace
Armed with a look that says, "Come hither, young men...and give me a scoop so I can blow it out of proportion," Miss Grace shines on CNN every night. Her whiny voice, semi-greasy hair, and inability to correctly detail a story are traits that things that make her a true knockout.
Some call her a sensationalist, but I call her sensational! I don't know if she's single, but she's a hot tamale with a good paying job on a crappy basic-cable news channel. Sounds like a winner all-around to me!
So remember, kids, when your mother asks you why you're watching CNN, make sure you only say it's for the news.Joe's Sensational Score: 7.5/10 YEAHS!!!
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Thursday, June 4, 2009
Daily LOL Cat
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
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Look-A-Like of the Day
see more Celeb Look-A-Likes
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