Glenn Martin, DDS Sucks

Not to tell you something you don't already know, but there's a really crappy show on Nick at Nite that knocks off George Lopez in the timeslot occasionally. It's called Glenn Martin, DDS-- and it sucks.

and if you are REALLY BORED:
http://www.shockwave.com/gamelanding/glennmartin.jsp

http://www.nickatnite.com/shows/glenn-martin-dds/index.jhtml

It sucks!

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Domino's New Pizza Stinks; Domino's Putting Up Fake Reviews to Boost Ratings

Saw the commercials, couldn't believe that people were singing the graces of the "new and improved" Domino's pizza. Then I remembered, hey, I write for a blog that has singles of hits every day! And I also remembered an invention called the "interwebs," formerly known as the internet.

So I decided to do some research of my own. Much to my not-surprise, not only were praises of Domino's new pizza sparse, but outright rage towards their "cardboard" with sauce were everywhere. So please enjoy some choice collections of new Domino Pizza Reviews:

1/5 Stars: Terrible

I tried the "new and improved" dominos pizza recently and was not impressed, to say the least. The only difference that I noticed was that they just use more dough to make a thicker crust. The sauce is horrible, the cheese is low quality, and the toppings are scarce. Anyone who actually thinks this is good pizza either completely lacks taste buds or is high on drugs. Dominos and most of the larger chains have ruined pizza. Most of these places use frozen dough and low quality ingredients. Give your mom and pops the business, You'll get a much better pie. Tell dominos to keep their crappy pizza and gimmicky nonsense they try to sell you along with the pizza.

1/5 Stars: Terrible

I tried Domino's because of the ads touting the new taste. We ordered one 2 item thin crust, one 2 item regular chewy crust in medium for 5.99 each. I ordered pepperoni and double cheese. I was told that was 3 items. I asked how that was? I asked if cheese was considered extra. She said extra cheese was ok as a topping but double cheese was considered 2 toppings by itself. Hmmmmm. She sounded dumb enough not to waste my time arguing. The order was 20 minutes late. Frankly they were absolutely terrible. The sauce was way too sweet, the small amount of cheese wasn't cheesy, the crust was like cardboard with garlic salt sprinkled on. The pepperoni was skimpy as were the green peppers. I'll never order their product again. I'd rather eat a frozen Tombstone than a fresh Dominos. People, don't waste your money!

1/5 Stars: Terrible

I tried the "new" pizza and it is awful. Does anyone remember the 80's when their pizza really was good? Why can't they go back to that? I called the store back and complained that the crust is the same ole crust with the exception of brushing butter and garlic on the butt of the crust and she just laughed and said I was right. It is just awful.

I couldn't taste any difference in the sauce or cheese. I again am through with these guys. Just awful.

1/5 Stars: Terrible

No thanks, I'll pass. If I want to eat cardboard, I'll just go for the real thing.

1/5 Stars: Terrible

It is by far the worst pizza I've ever had, it's just that every time I order pizza from this place, I say I am not going to do it, well I promise, this is going to be the last time!

Who mixes Fetta cheese with mozzarella!!!! That new garlic prawn pizza is just disgusting, I had a frozen prawn in it & the fishy taste is unbearable!

Honestly, it's a shame!

And some choice fake reviews by Domino's that they put in themselves. Seriously, after looking at the other reviews and the "profiles" of people who gave these particular ratings, how can they think that anyone believe that these are real?

5/5 Stars: Great

Their new recipe is awesome! The new choice of sauces and expanded topping choices is just great. We tried the white sauce with spinach, mushrooms and onions and it was delicious! We also tried their new robost sauce with provolone and cheddar cheese toppings... yum! The crust is now brushed with a buttery garlic sauce before it's baked so it tastes so much better than it did before. You should give it a try you won't be disappointed!

5/5 Stars: Great

I have been to Dominos a hand full of times and I was never impressed. Then one evening my girlfriend and her mom wanted some quick inexpensive pizza, so they suggested Little Caesars. (Ugh!) I remember seeing a Dominos commercial and hearing about their "new pizza". To make a long story short I went to my local Dominos resturant and ordered a medium pepperoni pizza with extra cheese for around 6 bucks. The service was good and the pizza was great. I definetly feel I got my bang for my buck, thanks Dominos you made me a believer, I will see you guys soon(super Bowl)!

5/5 Stars: Great

Wow guys. You're all liars. I've been working at a CSR at Dominos in Atlanta for a while now.. None of those things are true. For one, we cut the pizza and put it directly into a stickered box. No one eats the pizza, or they would get immediatly fired. Ever think of your kids taking a slice before you noticed it so they could get more? The second thing. We don't freeze our dough. EVER. We hand toss every pizza, sauce/cheese/top it ourselves with a lot of care. Managers are extremelt strict and any employee's who don't take care in making this pizza will get fired. Its great pizza at a great price.

Notice how each of these fake ones nail the new stuff and try to tell you that all the old problems have changed? Not to mention disparaging other pizza chains (Little Ceasars) and using buzz words like "bang for the buck" and "great pizza at a great price." Or how about calling everyone else "liars?"


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2012 SUCKS...Kind Of

The movie 2012 was recently released to theaters nationwide and has racked up ticket sales. According to Rotten Tomatoes, the movie amassed $68,000,000 in earnings in its first week.

But what do the reviews say? Well, that same website gives 2012 a distinctly rotten rating, with only 38% of reviewers saying it was fresh. Now, this by no means is even close to the worst rated movie on RT. But it does say that the movie is pretty bad.

So 2012 sucks...kind of.

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Surprise, Couples Retreat SUCKS

When your commercials look like crap, and have you moaning at the awful jokes, you know you're in trouble. Couples Retreat, with the once famous Vince Vaughn, is such a movie.

Watching TV, I could tell this movie was a stinker from the first moment I saw its crap-tastic commercials. Well, the reviews are in, and Couples Retreat scores an abysmal 12% on Rotten Tomatoes, and a SWEET FEATHERY JESUS 2.4/10 on Metacritic. Actually, that may be the worst score I have ever seen.

Vince Vaughn: Hasn't Made a Watchable Movie in Years

So please, for all that is holy, don't see this God forsaken movie.

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Guess What, Land of the Lost SUCKS

Booyah! Just as I predicted, Land of the Lost, staring the once semi-funny Will Ferrel sucks big time.

While I write this, it has a not-so-hilarious rating of only 23% on rottentomatoes, with just 18% from the "top" critics. Well, it's clear when your commercials suck, you have former SNL "shtick-meisters," and it stars Will Ferrell, who hasn't done anything funny for almost ten years, you've got a nice big bomb on your hands.

This news comes with especial glee to me, since Will Ferrell in just an...well, I can't say, but you know what I mean. Also, I found it hilarious that there were news articles, giant ad campaigns written about how this would be a highly-reviewed hit. HA! Ferrell even appeared on Conan O'Brien this Monday. Maybe he can learn something from Conan.

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10 Reasons Why the Simpsons Have Sucked for 10 Years

10. Their unapologetic liberal slant.
9. It has become much too preachy.
8. Homer cries in nearly every episode now-a-days.
7. Too many episodes are "Ripped from the Headlines."
6. They beat unfunny jokes into the ground until you wish they were beating you unconscious.
5. Well, I think it's pretty clear that they've run out of uniquely original ideas.
4. Way too many guest stars who just aren't funny or relevant.
3. Why is Homer the centerpiece of the show now, and why is he a complete and utter moron (as opposed to when the show was good)?
2. You remember all those original and creative writers the Simpsons had, like Conan O'Brien? If you said "yes," you have a good memory.
1. Being number one for a long time just makes you complacent. Just like the last seven years of SNL.