Thoughts on Immigration from Theodore Roosevelt

A hearty hap-tip to World Tribune for this:

"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin.

But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here.

Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all.

We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language.. And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

- Theodore Roosevelt, from a letter he wrote to the president of the American Defense Society on January 3, 1919, three days before he died. 

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Seven REAL Reasons Why Theodore Roosevelt Is the Coolest President Ever

One of my favorite Presidents, Theodore Roosevelt has also been the coolest for the last 100 years. Here now are the seven reasons why good ol' Teddy was the coolest of them all.

7. He grew up an asthmatic, in a time when asthma was a debilitating affliction. He was sickly and weak...then he grew up to become a professional boxer and all-around iron-pumping, tough-as-nails tough guy.

6. Out hunting with friends, he saved the life of a bear that they had tied to a tree, saying that it was too easy and therefore unsportsmanlike. Now tell me, how many people do you know who go out hunting bears, and DON'T kill them because it's just too damn easy?

5. He led the Rough Riders up San Juan Hill during the Spanish-American war. He led the attack; you know, out in front where it's really easy to be shot a thousand times by the enemy.

4. Point blank: his awesome mustache.

3. Roosevelt was the youngest man ever to serve as President. Not the youngest elected, mind you, but the youngest to hold the position. The person who was weak and sickly ascended to the highest office in the world before anyone in history.

2. Running for President in 1912, Roosevelt led the most successful Third-Party campaign in history. As a Bull Moose, T.R. ran against William Howard Taft (who refused to step aside for Roosevelt to let him run as a Republican) and Woodrow Wilson (D). In the end Wilson would win because of the split vote between Taft and Roosevelt, but Teddy did earn eleven times the electoral votes Taft did. No wonder everyone only remembers Taft for getting stuck in that bathtub.

1. This reason is particularly awesome, so I must warn you that your head may explode from the awesome-ness. While campaigning in 1912, Roosevelt stopped in Milwaukee to spread his word. Getting ready to give a speech, a man named John Schrank approached Teddy and shot him in the chest. He was quickly apprehended. But what's a flesh wound to Theodore Roosevelt? Minutes later, T.R. went on stage, announced he had been shot, and GAVE THE SPEECH, which was 3,800+ words. Hell, it's tough for me to make a speech if I burn my tongue.

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Quote of the Day-- November 25, 2008

I am a Republican. I'm loyal to the party of Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt. And I believe that my party, in some ways, has strayed from those principles, particularly on the issue of fiscal discipline.

Senator John McCain

Big Surprise as Zombie Theodore Roosevelt Endorses McCain

BREAKING-- Arlington, VA

After almost ninety years of silence, former President and current zombie Theodore Roosevelt has torn the roof off of his casket and has held a press conference.

Speaking in his characteristic higher-pitched voice and using nineteenth-century slang, Roosevelt spoke in no uncertain terms about Senator McCain, "I've been following the newsreels and I must proceed that John McCain is a true bulwark of American patriotism, and will work to defend all 46 states of our great union."

Roosevelt, a cousin of President Franklin Roosevelt, also stated that Senator McCain's war record was also reason to vote for him on Tuesday. "When I charged San Juan Hill and brought the power of freedom to Cuba, people thought I was a hero. Senator McCain flew in an aeroplane and even used it to kill no-good socialist-anarchists." The preceding President to Roosevelt, William McKinley, was assassinated by an anarchist.

Speaking on a podium, Roosevelt wore his trademark glasses and it was noted that most of his skin still was on his body. His burial suit was in surprisingly good shape. "We must stand for a brighter future." Roosevelt said, "It's getting to late to be doing stuff like this often."

When asked about future plans, Roosevelt stated that he would like to record a Victrola album and hop on the trolley one last time. After that, he has a game of billiards against arch-rival Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary.