Things President Obama Does in His Spare Time

10. Practices his "angry face" to try to look tough when talking about terrorism.
9. Looks in mirror and says, "It was all President Bush's fault" over and over again.
8. Makes March Madness brackets instead of attending to less important things, like talking North Korea out of invading South Korea.
7. Does a lot of push-ups and sit-ups, just in case Putin challenges him to a fight.
6. Forces himself to cry, you know, just so he's ready if he needs to for support.
5. Prank calls Hillary Clinton.
4. Puts "kick me" signs on Joe Biden's back during important conferences.
3. Practices talking smoothly so he can convince Americans that another Stimulus Bill is necessary.
2. Burns ants with a magnifying glass.
1. Reading on the internet about whether he in the Anti-Christ or not.


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Jumping in Pools Welcomes its Newest Contributor

Jumping in Pools welcomes its newest contributor, Alezend, who is looking to provide us with cutting-edge satire and a new look on things.

He's a student like most of us and is looking to bring quality content to our site.

Give us a shout if you want to welcome our writer.

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Quote of the Day

What Al Gore created [the internet], I have put asunder.

-- Jumping in Pools

Remember When Obama Attacked McCain for not Using the Internet?

Hopefully you do. If not, here it is:



One, hopefully you know that McCain does know how to use the internet. Second, it is incredibly painful for him to use a computer because the Vietnamese broke his hands on several occasions.

All right, now look at this article by The New York Times. So Barack Obama will probably not use his blackberry, nor the internet... So all that complaining, all that whining, all that "he's out of touch" stuff was, well, moot. I find it quite ironic that Sen. Obama will probably use the internet as much as John McCain when he's President.

I Like Pie

I know that there's been a lot of infighting and fisticuffs over the pie/no pie issue in Congress lately, but I wanted to put my credibility on the line and make an unequivocal and irrevocable statement:

I enjoy eating pie.

I like cherry, raspberry, blackberry, and apple. Pumpkin, too. It's pie eating season. I know that a lot of people may be dismayed at my outlandish statement, but it's time to let the chips fall where they may.

May they eat pie.

Comment on your favorite pie (and if someone says humble, they're banned from the Internets)