Rule 5 Friday

While you're ogling Christie, check out these awesome links.


Government Mess had an article featuring a video of Eric Cantor speaking out against left-wing hypocrisy over 'threatening actions.'

http://governmentmess.blogspot.com/2010/03/cantor-condemns-libs-for-fanning-flames.html

RR had an article about the ObamaCare bill returning to the House-- with an interesting picture to boot:

http://reaganiterepublicanresistance.blogspot.com/2010/03/obamacare-headed-back-to-house-for.html

The Powers that Be had an article about the skyrocketing costs of taxes thanks to ObamaCare:

http://dougpowers.com/2010/03/25/farm-equipment/

The Life and Times had some interesting quotes:

http://tlat.blogspot.com/2010/03/best-quotes-of-week-so-far.html

The Pirate's Cove had an article on Obama's own feelings on ObamaCare:

http://www.thepiratescove.us/2010/03/25/obama-health-bill-moves-us-towards-universal-health-care/

UNRR had an article on weird Wicca:

http://unreligiousright.blogspot.com/2010/03/when-witches-go-bad.html

Patriot Room has an article up about Paul Ryan:

http://patriotroom.com/article/-people-who-know-paul-ryan-say-he-will-be-president-one-day

Harrison Price has an article up on "Obama's America:"

http://harrisonprice.com/2010/03/25/discovering-obamas-america/

The Lonely Conservative talks about the "$12,670,895,780,689.20 Elephant in the Room:"

http://www.lonelyconservative.com/2010/03/26/the-12670895780689-20-elephant-in-the-room/


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Technology of the Week

Dr. Joe's going to need a vacation with all of the stupendous research that he's been doing. I've been searching the deserts of Italy and the jungles of Mauritania in order to find you the next great wonder. And here it is:

Joe's Technology
Botox

Tired of looking like some sort of transvestite clown when all you want to do is get a date? Well, listen to good ol' Doctor Joe and inject yourself with gallons of this miracle cure.

Discovered in the urine of infants, this "poison" firms the skin and makes you look like you had surgery. In fact, it's obvious. People might stop you on the street just to say, "Wow!" And if they're not recoiling in horror, then you might just get Christie Brinkley to take you to prom.

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Joe Chicoine: 1989-2009

Joseph Henry Chicoine

Writing for this business is usually fun, but it doesn't prepare you for moments like this. Joseph Henry Chicoine, senior writer for Jumping in Pools, had his life tragically cut short yesterday. While attending a seminar on the dangers of gluten, a sniper's bullet struck Joe in the chest, causing his heart to explode. The doctors did all they could, but he was already gone.

The man you knew as Joe was an eclectic person, full of whimsy and cunning. He is perhaps best known for bedding both Christie Brinkley and Catherine Zeta-Jones simulatenously. This feat was almost matched by Joe punching Mahmoud Ahmadinejad into a pile of pigfat and then suffocating him with a yarmulke.

Joe contributed sparingly to Jumping in Pools, having quit the Wall Street Journal because it didn't challenge him. After not posting for almost a month, we had to come to the sad, sad, conclusion, that Joe, the love of our lives, was gone.

We actually don't know if he's dead or not, but he hasn't been posting. This must mean either he doesn't want to post, or was run down by a steamroller last night. We are investigating.

Rest in piece. And write an article from heaven.

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