Obama: Gun Use by Police 'Unconstitutional'

Guns Not Guaranteed by 2nd Amendment?
Doug Wright
CNR
August 5, 2009


A previously classified memo has been leaked to the press in which President Barack Obama states that he believes police officials have no right to carry firearms. The document, addressed to Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, outlines plans to 'slowly invalidate the belief that officers of the law have the right to carry handguns, rifled equipment, or any other gun.'

The memorandum continues that the police cannot lawfully carry guns, contending that the Second Amendment simply applies only to organized militias only. The document states that 'it is clearly seen in the Bill of Rights that a "well regulated Militia" has the right to bear arms; it says nothing about the right of law enforcers to do so.'

The President instructs Gibbs to 'softly implant' this idea in the press by 'publicly calling into question the rights of officers, compared to the average citizen.' Strangely left out of the memo is President Obama's feeling on private gun ownership, which is commonly believed to guarantee the right to own firearms.

A spokesperson for Robert Gibbs stated that the documents were 'fraudulent,' stating that they were created by 'political enemies of the President seeking to harm his good standing.' A similar statement was released from the White House, which read in part 'the right for the police to bear arms is a cannot be changed by the President alone,' and that 'the memo should be disregarded.'

Tom Petri (R-WI), however, is not sure that the memo is a fake. Henry Chicné, a secretary of Congressman Petri, stated that 'he believes the piece may be real, as the Administration has no ability to prove it is a falsehood.'

Republican David Camp of Michigan, is not as ambiguous. "I firmly believe that this memo is real," he said in an interview. "It utterly fits with the President's actions while in office. Look, he has appointed Eric Holder, he has sought a ban on assault weapons, and has openly lambasted law enforcement in several instances. The writing's on the wall."

The President himself has not released a statement on the situation, writing only that 'I [President Obama] cannot comment on the veracity of the memo.'


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Biden, Obama to have Gaffe-Off

WASHINGTON- In order to quell the fire over his remarks on the police officers that arrested Professor Gates, President Barack Obama and VP Joe Biden have scheduled their first Gaffe-Off.

The event, planned for August 15th, is to be located at Madison Square Garden in New York. The meeting is the first of its kind, and will feature old gaffes by the Administration mixed in with the new.

"It's sort of like boxing," said Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "There will be a panel of judges, scoring how the participants do. There can be clean gaffes, counter-gaffes, and hay-gaffers.

"Counter-gaffes are where one competitor states a gaffe that he has made, and his opponent states a similar gaffe, but one with bigger or worse consequences. For example, if Joe Biden references when he asked a handicapped man to stand up, the President could counter that with his comment about bowling like an athlete in the Special Olympics, since they both deal with physical activities.

"It's a lot of fun," Gibbs concluded.

Strategies for the duel are unclear, but House Speaker Nancy Pelosi had some ideas. "I really expect President Obama to hammer Joe early. A right with 'the officers who arrested Gates acted stupidly' and a quick left with 'if we pass the stimulus, unemployment will not rise above eight percent.'

"But, of course, I wouldn't count Joe out. I mean, he's great at making fun of Obama, like saying that 'Obama can't do anything without a teleprompter.' And if he's in trouble, he might drop the F-Bomb.

"I can't wait for this," said Pelosi. "I haven't been this excited since I made Joe's Babe of the Week."


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