WASHINGTON- In order to quell the fire over his remarks on the police officers that arrested Professor Gates, President Barack Obama and VP Joe Biden have scheduled their first Gaffe-Off.
The event, planned for August 15th, is to be located at Madison Square Garden in New York. The meeting is the first of its kind, and will feature old gaffes by the Administration mixed in with the new.
"It's sort of like boxing," said Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "There will be a panel of judges, scoring how the participants do. There can be clean gaffes, counter-gaffes, and hay-gaffers.
"Counter-gaffes are where one competitor states a gaffe that he has made, and his opponent states a similar gaffe, but one with bigger or worse consequences. For example, if Joe Biden references when he asked a handicapped man to stand up, the President could counter that with his comment about bowling like an athlete in the Special Olympics, since they both deal with physical activities.
"It's a lot of fun," Gibbs concluded.
Strategies for the duel are unclear, but House Speaker Nancy Pelosi had some ideas. "I really expect President Obama to hammer Joe early. A right with 'the officers who arrested Gates acted stupidly' and a quick left with 'if we pass the stimulus, unemployment will not rise above eight percent.'
"But, of course, I wouldn't count Joe out. I mean, he's great at making fun of Obama, like saying that 'Obama can't do anything without a teleprompter.' And if he's in trouble, he might drop the F-Bomb.
"I can't wait for this," said Pelosi. "I haven't been this excited since I made Joe's Babe of the Week."
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Showing posts with label gaffe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gaffe. Show all posts
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Obama Contemplating Having Biden's Tongue Removed
Geoffrey Likeson
Conservative News and Reporting
'News for the Rest of Us'
WASHINGTON
President Obama has been consulting with members of his Administration over a controversial new initiative. Dubbed the "Gaffe Terminator," the President has contacted several doctors about the potential removal of Vice President Joe Biden's tongue.
"We just can't afford to have him keep talking," said the President during a Cabinet meeting, "Just last week he congratulated the Hutus for their 'orderly stewardship' or Rwanda during the 1990s. That's not even mentioning when he gave the White House gift of ham and bacon to incoming Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu."
"This is just embarrassing." said the President.
Sources close to the President note that the President has been making a lot of gaffes himself lately, and that Biden's chronic inability to shut up also damages the new White House's credibility.
"It was bad during the campaign," said Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, "Joe was talking to a group of Armenian-Americans and kept referring to them as 'proud Turkish descendants.' While tonguenectomy may seem like an extreme option, it drastically increases the President's chances of reelection."
Other options include replacing Biden with a life-like mannequin or asking him to just talk about himself.
"That would be bad enough," said Gibbs, "But it's not as bad as the time when he placed flowers on Stalin's grave."
"Joe helped get me elected," said Obama, "Now he needs to cram it and let me screw up things on my own."
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Conservative News and Reporting
'News for the Rest of Us'
WASHINGTON
President Obama has been consulting with members of his Administration over a controversial new initiative. Dubbed the "Gaffe Terminator," the President has contacted several doctors about the potential removal of Vice President Joe Biden's tongue.
"We just can't afford to have him keep talking," said the President during a Cabinet meeting, "Just last week he congratulated the Hutus for their 'orderly stewardship' or Rwanda during the 1990s. That's not even mentioning when he gave the White House gift of ham and bacon to incoming Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu."
"This is just embarrassing." said the President.
Sources close to the President note that the President has been making a lot of gaffes himself lately, and that Biden's chronic inability to shut up also damages the new White House's credibility.
"It was bad during the campaign," said Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, "Joe was talking to a group of Armenian-Americans and kept referring to them as 'proud Turkish descendants.' While tonguenectomy may seem like an extreme option, it drastically increases the President's chances of reelection."
Other options include replacing Biden with a life-like mannequin or asking him to just talk about himself.
"That would be bad enough," said Gibbs, "But it's not as bad as the time when he placed flowers on Stalin's grave."
"Joe helped get me elected," said Obama, "Now he needs to cram it and let me screw up things on my own."
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