Showing posts with label White House. Show all posts
Showing posts with label White House. Show all posts

Sunday, December 6, 2009

My Own Article: I Call Bull

UPDATE: 10:00 pm.

It looks as though my article jumped the gun. From evidence I got from GP, it appears that the denial of service was caused by a third party and not by a slash-dot effect.

I wrote an article too quickly and rashly and blew a story.

I was wrong. I offer my apologies to GP.


The internets was ablaze with reports that prominent political blogger Gateway Pundit was attacked by shadowy agents of the Obama White House due to a piece written against the "Safe Schools Czar." Now the report on Kevin Jennings was pretty damning, but still only a rehash copy-and-paste job of a Breitbart B-cast article. So nothing major was broke on Gateway Pundit and a far larger site had the story up first.

Follow that with a hyperventilating GP screeching that his beloved site had come under cyber attack.

There's a couple of problems with the hypothesis. Let's take a look at some famous cases of cyber warfare:

In the aftermath of massive voter fraud in the June 2009 Iranian "elections" sites supporting the Green movement of reformists were attacked. In a highly sophisticated attack, attackers likely emanating from Tehran's technology bureaus attacked Twitter and other sites.

During the August 2008 war between Russia and Georgia, Russian hackers plagued Georgian sites, shutting down much of the Georgian internet system. These hackers also attacked former SSR Estonia with similar tactics.

In June 2009 the government of North Korea attacked South Korean systems. These included high-profile and highly sensitive sites such as banks, the government, and businesses.So in all three of these cases we had a coordinated attacks by governments with attempts to destabilize entire nations. In two cases, Russia itself mobilized to help demoralize and confuse former Soviet blocs. So in order to believe this attack on GP, we'd likely have to see a coordinated effort.

But there are inconsistencies and questions surrounding GP's dubious claims.

Gateway Pundit is a notorious exaggerator. In June of this year GP used one of our satirical pieces as the gospel truth stating that President Obama was going to apologize for US actions in World War II. Rather than admit his fault, he clumsily edited away a link to our story without an update. Fortunately the original link back to GP is still active at Weasel Zippers.

Gateway Pundit's claims were not even original. They appeared first and foremost on a much larger site. Last I heard, there were no massive attacks on any of the Breitbart internet sites. If the government wanted to silence or punish a critic, it would surely attack the largest and most prominent and the originator of the anti-Obama claims.

GP blogs through First Things. Thus, Gateway Pundit itself has no servers to attack or motherboards to fry. In order to pull off an attack, then FT would need to go offline. This would mean that if FT went down for any reason, it could be blamed on a cyberattack. Google often lags or is down for maintenance-- I don't think that when it happens it is a direct attack on Jumping in Pools.

FT is a relatively small blog syndicate. The expose on Jennings likely caused a massive surge of traffic. Doubling or tripling expected traffic numbers could easily cause the servers to temporarily shut down or to lag. This would be an example of the Slashdot effect, and extremely well-known and chronicled event. In other words, GP would have shown up as a "denial of service"... how about that.

Who conducted the cyberattack? We're looking either at A) pesky Obama zombies living in their parents' basements or B) the White House directly intervening. A couple of problems here. A couple of Obama zombies would have to coordinate directly to disrupt FT servers while not attacking the actual source of the information or the dozens of blogs which cited GP. This seems particularly unlikely considering FT's servers and IP addresses would have to be found, identified and summarily hacked. That would require days if not months, but almost miraculously some anonymous hackers reamed the FT motherboard in three hours. Yeah right.

The other option is that someone in the Obama White House actually ordered (or knew about) an attack on the Gateway Pundit blog. Hell, maybe even the President himself ordered it! Not because of criticism on stuff that could ruin the country, but because a blog said that a book the 'Safe School Czar' approved of could cause a high schooler to come out of the closet. My word! No offense, but with 10% employment, two wars, and a deficit of 100% of our tax revenues, Obama and his Cabinet have more to sweat about. Also, the White House has already picked fights with prominent sites such as FoxNews and Politico-- and the worst thing that they did was-- openly criticize them. Politico's a bigger and more influential site than GP and it didn't mysteriously disappear after exposing stories about the White House.In short, there seem to be a lot of holes in GP's story. I don't know this for sure, but it is more than likely that his story is either fabricated or grossly exaggerated in order to reinforce online traffic. I call on GP to retract their story or provide evidence. So far none has come forward. In fact, this is all they showed:

BREAKING:
Gateway Pundit blog came under at least two cyber attacks tonight that shut down the First Things website.Truly the photos of nuclear missiles on Cuba or fingerprints of Eric Holder.

This is likely a fraud. Don't fall for it.



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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Obama Considering Turning off Flame at Tomb of the Unknown Soldier for New "Green" Initiative

Peter Richardson
September 10, 2009

"Today we stand at a precipice." Then-Senator Barack Obama told an audience in Racine, Wisconsin last year, "If we are able to reduce carbon emissions and build a sustainable future, our children will benefit for generations."

The future President has stated that environmental policy will be one of the cornerstones of his tenure in the White House. In order to reduce pollution caused by carbon dioxide, President Obama has pushed for various pieces of legislation, including the Cash for Clunkers bill and the so-called Cap and Trade provisions.

Both candidate and President Obama has stated that a paramount goal would be to reduce American need for foreign sources of fuel.

Many of the efforts to reduce energy consumption are well-known to the American people. These include turning off lights when not in a room, insulating buildings, and raising mileage standards for automobiles. However, one small proviso has many within the Defense Department and in Congress infuriated.

According to two sentences posted on September 8 on the White House website, one initiative included turning off the 'eternal flame' at the Tomb of the Unknowns in the Arlington National Cemetery. The post, which was briefly cited by FoxNews, was then swiftly deleted.

When later asked about this by FoxNews' White House Correspondent Major Garrett during a flight with the President, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs stated that, "We have no comment on this policy at this time."

However, Defense officials have reportedly leaked part of the justification coming from the Administration. According to aides to Defense Secretary Robert Gates, the Administration may be implementing its policy for several reasons. One included fuel savings:

"...[with] ordinary Americans facing higher fuel prices, shutting off the Flame will save 20,000 gallons of kerosene a year."

While another passage stated that "two-hundred tons" of carbon emissions would be reduced by shutting off the flame.

In a statement later released by Jen Psaki, White House Deputy Press Secretary, much of the controversy regarding the possible change is overstated. Psaki stated that the flame would still be lit on important dates, such as Independence Day, Memorial Day, and Veterans' Day.

"The President remains committed to making the United States energy independent." the statement said, "This possible policy should remind all Americans of the noble sacrifices by our veterans, and how we can solve the energy crisis with sound planning and each doing our part."

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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

President Obama Repeatedly Breaks Promise on Lobbyists

During the 2008 Democratic Party primaries, former Senator Hillary Clinton constantly chided her youthful opponent, famously stating that she would not need "on the job training." The future President's backers confidently stated that Obama's lack of experience was an advantage due to the fact that it isolated him from Washington culture.

However, with President Obama overseeing his first large-scale legislative defeat, there may be room for Hillary's interpretation.

Take for example the claim that the President's short time in the Senate shielded him from corruption and lobbyists. As far as lobbyists go, the President promised to significantly reduce their influence on the White House. Instead, this promise was broken within the first month of entering office. Dozens of lobbyists have entered into offices vated by Bush staffers and Obama seems will to appoint even more. Take, for example, the chief of staff for Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner. Mark Patterson was an official lobbyist on behalf of Goldman Sachs until April 2008. In other words, he was hyping a company that helped set off the greatest financial collapse in thirty years. And the President has allowed him to give advice to the man meant to help reverse that collapse.

Is it any surprise that just last month President Obama appointed a lobbyist to one of the most powerful legal positions in the country? Neil MacBride was recently appointed as a federal attorney in the eastern district of Virginia. This is the man who may wind up prosecuting Khalid Sheik Mohammed. Do we really want a lobbyist in charge of this? Oh, and did I mention that he worked for Joe Biden earlier this decade? But it's okay, states the Obama Administration, because he stopped lobbying in 2007.

I'll write more on this subject later, particularly about corruption in a part two. Right now, though, I'm off to class.

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Thursday, August 6, 2009

Obama: Gun Use by Police 'Unconstitutional'

Guns Not Guaranteed by 2nd Amendment?
Doug Wright
CNR
August 5, 2009


A previously classified memo has been leaked to the press in which President Barack Obama states that he believes police officials have no right to carry firearms. The document, addressed to Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, outlines plans to 'slowly invalidate the belief that officers of the law have the right to carry handguns, rifled equipment, or any other gun.'

The memorandum continues that the police cannot lawfully carry guns, contending that the Second Amendment simply applies only to organized militias only. The document states that 'it is clearly seen in the Bill of Rights that a "well regulated Militia" has the right to bear arms; it says nothing about the right of law enforcers to do so.'

The President instructs Gibbs to 'softly implant' this idea in the press by 'publicly calling into question the rights of officers, compared to the average citizen.' Strangely left out of the memo is President Obama's feeling on private gun ownership, which is commonly believed to guarantee the right to own firearms.

A spokesperson for Robert Gibbs stated that the documents were 'fraudulent,' stating that they were created by 'political enemies of the President seeking to harm his good standing.' A similar statement was released from the White House, which read in part 'the right for the police to bear arms is a cannot be changed by the President alone,' and that 'the memo should be disregarded.'

Tom Petri (R-WI), however, is not sure that the memo is a fake. Henry Chicné, a secretary of Congressman Petri, stated that 'he believes the piece may be real, as the Administration has no ability to prove it is a falsehood.'

Republican David Camp of Michigan, is not as ambiguous. "I firmly believe that this memo is real," he said in an interview. "It utterly fits with the President's actions while in office. Look, he has appointed Eric Holder, he has sought a ban on assault weapons, and has openly lambasted law enforcement in several instances. The writing's on the wall."

The President himself has not released a statement on the situation, writing only that 'I [President Obama] cannot comment on the veracity of the memo.'


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Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Geithner Admitted to Mental Hospital

Geithner Released from Alexandria, VA Hospital
UPDATED: 1:03 PM
Adam Ligert

United States Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner has had a daunting task in front of him the last seven months. Geithner has had to balance the well-being of the overall economy with the frailties of both the banking industry and inflationary fears.

Geithner, who was appointed by then President-Elect Obama last year has been at the forefront of economic chatter since January. He helped push through both the economic stimulus plan and new regulations which affect almost one-third of the US economy.

Early Tuesday morning the stress appeared to get to Geithner as he was rushed to the Inova Alexandria Hospital on Seminary Road. The official reason for the visit to the hospital was stated simply as "overstress."

The impromptu visit raises many questions, however. Members of the White House Cabinet are usually seen on-site or in an undisclosed hospital set up for the Washington elite. Visiting a public hospital appears to underly a sense of urgency in this case.

Geithner was admitted to the Susan Baker Mental Health ward of the hospital, where he was observed for almost five hours. Doctors have stated that they gave Geithner valium and allowed him to leave. Sources state that Geithner was perscribed Vicodin to deal with the mounting stress.

Sources in the White House state that Geithner has been increasingly worried over the massive deficits which President Obama has been proposing. Other sources state that this new stress was caused by a yet-unknown stimuli. This stimuli has been speculated to be a potential crash of the US economy.

According to Jeffrey Geithner, Secretary Geithner's brother, the Secretary has been wanting to speak out against the President's policies, but has been muzzled by "an oppressive press corps" and the President's "erratic sense of control."

Geithner was released around 1:00 pm, surrounded by members of the White House staff. The President could not be reached for comment.

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Obama 'Close' to Firing Hillary Clinton

NOTE: This is a satirical article, which never appeared in any form in the Los Angeles Times, but is wholly representative of this site and this site only, it is solely meant for satirical purposes.

After Policy Clashes, Clinton's Role in White House 'Marginalized'

Jeremy Kimball


BANGKOK THAILAND-- Dining with Thai Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton discussed widening ties between the US and the Southeastern Asian nation. Earlier in the day, the Secretary discussed the possibility of a US defense shield in the Middle East to counteract Iranian influence.

While on the surface this appears to be the ordinary work of America's chief diplomat, it is part of the shrinking role of the Clinton dynasty. President Obama chose the former First Lady after intense political pressure. The former rivals vowed to work together and were photographed at high-profile events in January and February.

However, since the disputed elections in Iran on June 12, there has been a widening split in the White House over foreign policy. President Obama, flanked by Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel believe in the 'balanced' approach the President has been taking on the subject. However, some in the White House, including Vice President Joe Biden and Secretary Clinton, have been calling for a tougher foreign policy stance.

There has been a widening dispute between the President and Secretary Clinton over several key points. While the major one was over Iran, Clinton disagrees with Obama's plans to open relations with Cuba, the Sudan, and Syria.

The two reportedly engaged in a heated verbal argument early this month, with the President deciding to curtail the Secretary's functions. These have included denying Clinton the ability to hire Sidney Blumenthal, a former Bill Clinton aide, as an advisor. Clinton was also absent when the President visited the G-8 conference this month. In addition, Obama sent Vice President Biden on an important trip to Eastern Europe instead of Clinton.

Rumblings of the split have been chronicled in the New York Times and the New York Daily News, but the splits appeared to be superficial in character.

However, late last week, our source acquired a statement from White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel stating that Secretary Clinton was on 'thin ice.' Most troubling to the White House have been several statements pertaining to US foreign policy which were not cleared by the White House. One was a statement in which Clinton stated that she "hoped democracy would triumph" in Iran.

Emanuel also stated to us that Secretary Clinton had been working closely with her husband in order to further policy decisions. "No offense to my former boss," Emanuel stated, "but his presidency ended eight years ago."

Whether Secretary Clinton would be asked to step down is in doubt. It is highly unlikely for a US Secretary of State to step down during a presidential term. The last time that this happened was when Secretary of State James Baker resigned from the George H.W. Bush Administration in August 1992, in a non-pressured cirumstance.



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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Obama: Opponents of Stimulus Plan 'Unpatriotic'

Doubts Grow Over Stimulus Plan
June 10, 2008
Nicholas Pollack
Boston Globe


President Obama's plan for the American economy has come under increased scrutiny as unemployment continues to rise and as consumer confidence is declining. Also distressing to the White House are recent polls which show a great amount of skepticism about the remaining disbursement of funds.

It was recently revealed that the vast majority of the over $700 billion stimulus plan had not been injected into the economy. During the political push for the plan in January, the President warned that a swift massive influx was necessary to save the economy.

Instead, over $500 billion remains unspent, instead waiting at the discretion of the White House. Republican leaders have long been attacking the 'ineffectiveness' of the stimulus plan, but now even some in the President's party are starting to grumble about the lack of results.

Most economists believe that the unemployment rate will soon burst over ten percent and may reach fifteen percent. They also caution that most of these newly lost jobs are not affiliated with the downturn in 2008.

"This is totally different," said former Yale Professor Jefferey Regin, "These jobs being cut now are partially due to a lack of confidence in the new Obama administration."

President Obama has recently stated that some of the remaining stimulus money will "save or create 600,000 jobs." However, this was swiftly met with criticism from his own party.

"When is the President going to act?" asked House Whip Steny Hoyer (D-MD), "We all have placed our trust in the President and we need these funds to help jump-start the economy yesterday."

In response to much of this criticism, the President is attempting to use historical analogies. In a statement released through Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, Obama writes, "We face the worst economic crisis since FDR faced down the Great Depression. We cannot afford to wait or to waffle. ... Some of those who are attacking my plan are partisans from the last eight years and those who are not acting in the interests of their country."

When asked what the President meant by these comments, Gibbs said Wednesday, "The President is only attempting to look out for the future of our country. Some in the Republican leadership are not."

The President is expected to push for his health care initiative in the coming weeks, perhaps getting the spotlight off of the economy.

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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Obama Considering Repainting the White House to Help Environment

Helen Terrell
New York Reviewer
June 2, 2009

WASHINGTON- The White House could soon lose its world-famous color. According to Administration officials, the President is considering repainting his new home with environmentally friendly paint; and that potentially could mean a color other than white.

The move comes at a time when the President has urged Americans to take up a sense of environmental responsibility in the world, including the newly passed gas-mileage requirements by Congress.

Officials stated that "the President would like to lead by example. Not only will he be trying to purchase zero-VOC paints [volatile organic compounds], but that he also is willing to paint the White House the most effective color possible to help the environment."

The President himself did not release a detailed press release on the subject, simply saying that the plans to paint the White House "will be considered, regardless of the color." It is also believed that Michelle Obama is a reason that the President is considering the change, because she "hates the color white."

Despite the President's well-meaning, the plan has been received coldly by many. "This plan is not something I would support," said Vice President Joe Biden. "Barack is my President, and my friend, so I will always encourage him to do what he thinks is right. Personally, though, I'm not quite sure that changing the color of a national landmark will help the environment all that much.

"It's puzzling in a way," Biden added.

It is unknown when the President will make his decision, but it is expected within June.


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Friday, March 27, 2009

Obama to Develop "Angry Face"

Michele Chang
Conservative News and Reporting
News for the Rest of Us

WASHINGTON

Faced with increasing deficits, attacks from Republicans, and crises abroad, President Obama is slated to take off this weekend for a regrouping attempt. According to sources within the Administration, Obama is attempting to create a new persona, in order to show his seriousness.

"The President has tried other means to show that he is serious," said Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, "He's tried the condescending lecturer, the whiny student, and the clueless buffoon. Yet none of these caricatures have really penetrated the American psyche."

While at Camp David, the President is going to meet with a litany of experts, including psychologists, sociologists, and clowns to attempt to contort his face into one of anger.

"We tried it before," said Laffy, the St. Paul Region's #2 Children's Birthday Clown, "But when I shouted at him to show me his warface, he just looked constipated. It's really a shame cause he looks like he's passing a kidney stone."

Psychologists are also worried. Paul Robes, a prominent family specialist from the Los Angeles area, has noted that the President is not taken seriously.

"He needs to connect with the American people," Robes said, "When people are frustrated with losing their jobs, they turn on the TV and see the President filling out March Madness brackets, drinking beers, and going on Jay Leno. This isn't a statesman: this is Tom Cruise on speed."

Other sources are trying to force an angry expression from the President. This includes Michelle Obama shouting at him over a spilled latte in 1989, Tim Geithner saying that his dog was run over by former President Clinton, and Senator Orrin Hatch of Kansas urinating on the White House lawn.

"I don't get it," said Laffy, "Whenever he should get angry, he just sits and stammers, 'uh, that's uh, because, uh, and the previous Administration. He's almost a basket case."

The President could not be reached for comment.

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Obama Breaks Promise on Lobbyists

President-Elect Obama had stated repeatedly that lobbyists were not welcome in his administration. In fact, he admonished John McCain's campaign repeatedly for hiring former lobbyists.

Now that he's been elected, Obama is going to bring lobbyists into the White House. And consider that he said this:

During his campaign, Obama declared: "I have done more to take on lobbyists than any other candidate in this race. I don't take a dime of their money, and when I am president, they won't find a job in my White House."

Didn't John McCain take on soft money and the tobacco corporations? McCain has fought against corruption longer than Obama's been in Washington. Obama needs to change course and keep his promise.