Joe's Babe of the Week

Even though many have called for a stop to this column, calling it "sexist" and "awesome," Joe kowtows to no one. I labor on, for it is a labor of love.

Joe's Babe of the Week:
Eva Braun

Well known as the hottest wife of any dictator, she was well-known as the first-babe of the Third Reich. With her golden locks and her perfect figure, she was worth fighting for. Word is that she was coveted by Stalin until Hitler killed half the Red Army and slung her over his shoulder.Why would I pick the wife of Adolf Hitler? Because hotness is hotness, regardless of political views. Have you ever seen Stalin's first wife? Wowza! In fact, we need to appreciate the delicate hotness of all babes, especially if they've been overlooked before. I won't overlook you.Hey Eva, there's a new Fuhrer in town! Call me and ask for Joe (my mother might answer).

Joe's Red-Hot Score: 9.5/10.0 Panzers

Joe's Babe of the Week

Joe C. has been poring over issues of Playboy to get us our next hot babe of the week. So get ready and hold onto your pants.

This week's babe:
Cindy SheehanWith a whiny voice and a shrill sense of total bitchiness, this "patriot" tops our list this week. Joe wants to teach her how to raise his American flag. Famous for disrespecting our troops, her beauty is forgotten in the mix.Even conservatives like to read stories about her-- as long as there are pictures. Who can forget when she wore that short skirt when she saw Hugo Chavez in 2005? Bet he feels good that he killed those political opponents to gain control. Or who can forget when President Bush punched the broad through a plate-glass window?

Cindy, you can protest at my place any time.

Joe's Babe Scores: 7.0/10.0 Fullstaff flags

Pirates Drown While Taking Booty

Somali pirates who hijacked a Saudi supertanker and received a $3 million ransom for it should have been happy with their haul. However, as they hauled it away, their boat capsized and they drowned.

Pirate Daud Nure says the boat with eight people on board overturned in a storm after dozens of pirates left the Sirius Star following a two-month standoff in the Gulf of Aden that ended Friday.

He said five people died and three people reached shore after swimming for several hours. Daud Nure was not part of the pirate operation but knew those involved.