Joe's Babe of the Week

Hello from the jungles of Prussia as Dr. Joe telegraphs home his newest iteration of his patented Babe of the Week segment. I've went through thousands of mimeographs and have prepared perhaps the sweetest babe that money or sweet talk can buy.

Joe's Babe of the Week:
Jane Fonda
Jane Fonda is what every man wants in a woman: snotty, whiny, and with a great bod. She's been on the circuit for forty years, and I don't just mean Hollywood. With her stunning blond hair and a voice that could shatter a grown man's heart, this babe is perhaps the hottest Dr. Joe has gotten his hands on.

Known for her great patriotism, Jane is known for killing over a hundred American pilots in Vietnam, and for shooting down Senator John McCain. Patriotism runs deep in her veins, as she carried on her anti-war work in the States, convincing the Viet Cong to kill thousands more American soldiers.

So if you catch one of her movies, don't boycott it. Pull up a chair and open a beer.

Joe's Bulge-o-meter: 9.0 Hanois up
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Joe's Babe of the Week

Joe C. has been poring over issues of Playboy to get us our next hot babe of the week. So get ready and hold onto your pants.

This week's babe:
Cindy SheehanWith a whiny voice and a shrill sense of total bitchiness, this "patriot" tops our list this week. Joe wants to teach her how to raise his American flag. Famous for disrespecting our troops, her beauty is forgotten in the mix.Even conservatives like to read stories about her-- as long as there are pictures. Who can forget when she wore that short skirt when she saw Hugo Chavez in 2005? Bet he feels good that he killed those political opponents to gain control. Or who can forget when President Bush punched the broad through a plate-glass window?

Cindy, you can protest at my place any time.

Joe's Babe Scores: 7.0/10.0 Fullstaff flags

Joe's Babe of the Week

Jumping in Pools is again calling upon our resident sexpert Joe C. to provide us with our next babe of the week.

This week's pick:Ann Coulter

With a terrible attitude and eyebrows that don't match, you want to make this bad girl good. With an Adam's apple the size of your fist, she lights up the talk shows like the cross she burned last night.

Ann Coulter became famous after she destroyed an orphanarium but stayed famous due to her dead good looks. She makes the partisanship float. As for being a total bitch queen, she also takes her hotness to the Democrats, making them cry like little girls.
Perfect for this column, perfect for the Joemeister.

Joe's Babe Meter: 9.0/10.0 Standing Joes
Check out last week's babe!