Kim Jong Il Sets Fashion Trends?!?!?

Our Dear Leader Kim Jong Il the dictator of North Korea has apparently outdone himself. According to the North Korean government the short premier is setting global fashion trends. Well, I never.

"The reason is that the august image of the Great General, who is always wearing the modest suit while working, leaves a deep impression on people's mind in the world," it said.

"To sum it up, that is because his image as a great man is so outstanding."

The article quoted an unidentified French fashion expert as saying world fashion follows Kim Jong-Il's style.

"Kim Jong-Il mode which is now spreading expeditiously worldwide is something unprecedented in the world's history," the stylist was quoted as saying.

also:

Rainbows supposedly appeared over sacred Mount Paekdu where Kim Jong-Il was allegedly born, and he is said once to have scored 11 holes-in-one in a single round of golf.

Wow!

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Hey, Who's Interested in Going to North Korea?

While following a link from LGF I was able to get to the official North Korean tourism webpage. Now I know that you're thinking "Why does North Korea need a tourism page? Doesn't everyone already know it's a workers' paradise?" But you can still see the awesome on their page.

While on the site, I noticed that there is an upcoming trip for those interested in visiting the DPRK-- except for those with American passports. I also read the undisputable fact that the South wants to reunite with the North, but a pesky 'wall built by the Americans' and 40,000 US troops keep it from happening.

This is not to mention North Korea's booming export business. Did you know that the North has a car company called Peace Motors? Seriously. And on that list there was not one mention of nuclear or rocket technology. What a shame.

And naturally, to show how great it is, they also show a picture from one of their sweatshops! Funny, though... I didn't see any pictures of people eating-- although North Korea must have a bitchin' ping-pong team.

And if you need some tunes for your I-Pod, feel free to listen to all of the Stalinist anthems your little capitalist, baby-killer heart desires.

Also included are biographies of Kim Jong-Il and his father, the late deity Kim Il-Sung. Maybe Kim is just ronery vis a vis Team America.

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Joe in History, Part X

Here's Joe in Kim Jong Il's Military:


Click for better quality, and thanks to Google Images!


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Quote of the Day

I'm so ronery.

-- Kim Jong-Il


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Joe in History Part 5

Introducing, Kim Jong-Joe:



And check out our last Joe in History!

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Kim Jong il Cries During Rocket Launch: NOT Satire

Yes, you may think we're making it up, but it's true... or at least that's what the North Koreans have to say about it. The official North Korean news agency has declared that the Communist dictator was weeping watching his beloved rocket go up.

The country on Tuesday also released footage of the weekend launch, along with the first video of Kim since his reported stroke in August, according to South Korean media.

Kim "felt regret for not being able to spend more money on the people's livelihoods and was choked with sobs," AFP quoted ruling communist party paper Rodong Sinmun as saying.

"Chants of jubilation are reverberating throughout the country on the news that our satellite is beaming back the 'Song of General Kim Il-Sung' and the 'Song of General Kim Jong-Il,'" the paper said, according to AFP.

Wow.

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Kim Jong-Il Wins in Squeaker

Kim Jong-il, the illustrious President and hero of North Korea, has won reelection in a close election. Kim won 100% of the votes, with 99.98% of the votes cast. This is the closest election in North Korea in thirty years.

Some pundits question whether the reduced turnout will hurt Mr. Kim's mandate.

"This could cause Kim to not be able to push through his Starvation Initiative," said Sun Kim San, a dissident in Yongbyon, before being summarily executed.

The damage done by this close election could be seen in several years, when Kim is expected to die.

"Kim will never die." said the State Press, "He is a god."

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Kim Jong Il Performs Another Miracle

News out of Pyongyand is showing that the glorious leader of the People's Republic of Korea, Kim Jong Il, has created another amazing miracle.

Kim's miracles are well known in the Communist world, but their significance has been hidden in the capitalist-fascist societies. These miracles include making one loaf of bread into two by simply breaking it in half. Another miracle is when he "disappeared" after Western news reported a stroke, only to return again, silently thinking and drooling the drool of Marxist happiness.

But this time it was just another day in North Korea, as Kim got good weather for his birthday. Since the Marxists don't believe in a diety except Kim and his father, it was their work that this great day happened. The Telegraph out of Britain is running the story.

We must be shown once again of the great powers of Kim Jong Il and BEG for his forgiveness.

That is all.

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