Olbermann: Bush Behind Chappaquiddick

Senator Edward Kennedy's death at the age of 77 has created a veritable firestorm of media coverage. From loving reviews to scathing critiques, Kennedy was certainly one of the most important politicians of the twentieth century.

One of the most fervently talked about incidents in his life was the Chappaquiddick incident in which his young, pregnant, intern Mary Jo Kopechne died tragically in a car accident. Kopechne drowned as Kennedy swam to safety. It is widely believed that the incident severely damaged Kennedy's 1980 bid for the White House.

While most reports, and Kennedy's own admission, place Kennedy at the scene, others in the media have put forth different perspectives. The most telling of these has been MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann, who took fifteen minutes out of last night's broadcast for a 'Special Comment.'

Rather than lauding Kennedy's long life in public service, Olbermann instead pushed a radical, and yet unheard conspiracy theory. Olbermann stated, "For decades, Senator Kennedy was blamed for the tragic death of his beautiful intern. They said that he had had an affair. They said that he got her pregnant. And worst of all, they said that he killed her.

"But what if none of this is true?" Olbermann then gave the camera a quizzical look and took off his glasses. "Instead, information has leaked from former White House Counsel John Dean, a frequent guest on Countdown, that instead, a young, drunken fratboy named George W. Bush, instead killed Miss Kopechne in an attempt to frame the good Senator.

"The son of a Texas Congressman, the young Bush thought that he could do what he wanted. And so at the CIA's directive, he carried on an affair with Kopechne, impregnated her, and proceeded to drive her off a cliff. The younger Bush then knocked out Kennedy and fooled him into thinking that he drove that car that fatal drive."

Olbermann then put on a solemn fact, interposed with a picture of Bush in a Ku Klux Klan outfit. "Why would the future 'President' do such an inhumane and cruel act? Countdown has found no evidence other than the indisputable and transcending message that George W. Bush is an asshole, and that he once made a joke in front of my former wife and myself, causing me to go off and cry and him to 'console' her in the back of his 1978 El Camino. Why, George, why!?"

Olbermann then proceeded to sob on air for ten minutes, making sure that the crew did not cut to commercials. He continued sobbing, punctuated with, "Marcia, he's not worth it! Whhhhyyy!?!"

Olbermann could not be reached for comment, although a member of his staff quoted him as shouting to himself, "And how can you say he was bigger than me!?"

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FoxNews Growing in Obama's Shadow

President Obama was elected with over 50% of the vote last year. However, it appears that his political rivals may be able to swipe that much of the television ratings.

With some of the shine leaving the Obama Administration, many who are skeptical are already looking at alternative messages. MSNBC and the New York Times have grown almost infamous in their pro-Obama rallying and the internet is still abuzz with pro-Obama sentiment.

Enter FoxNews. The right-leaning network is definitely and anomaly and its message seems to be striking a tone with many in middle America. Heck, if even the San Francisco Gate is recognizing the rating bonanza that Fox is benefiting from, it must be serious.

Fox's ratings are up double-digits so far this year and it appears more likely that this will continue. Just take a look at this comment from the article:

Even if outnumbered, opposing voices are more likely heard in Fox's prime-time than on MSNBC's. Fox has also largely ignored the more extreme Obama opponents who question whether the president was born in the United States.

This is actually a really good point. Fox has largely been ignoring the crazy "birthers" while MSNBC eagerly had on many who accused Bush of lying about the War in Iraq. In addition, even though O'Reilly isn't my favorite person, he can at least have on opposing viewpoints on his show. Keith Olberdouche has built a veritable echo chamber of slobbering "guests."

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Olbermann Admits he is Gay, in Love with Glenn Beck

NYC, NBC HEADQUARTERS- In stark contrast from his usual cool and collected persona, Keith Olbermann made a startling admission in the middle of his highly successful show, Countdown, last night.

"I've been living a lie," Olbermann spouted while coming back from a commercial break. Several moments of silence passed until his production manager could audibly be heard asking if he wanted to continue with his show. "I'll do whatever I want, I'm Keith Olbermann," the host shouted back.

Following the outburst, the primetime anchor stared into the camera for upwards of thirty seconds. Olbermann then continued, "And now today's worst people in the...in the...oh God help me."

Tears then began to trickle down his face. "Cut, cut," Olbermann yelled, but to no avail. "I'm Keith Olbermann and I said cut! Do you know who I am?" Countdown, however, had just returned from a series of commercials, and could not go off-air so soon.

"Fine, you think you're funny, not listening to me? You want to know why I'm so upset," screamed Olbermann, throwing a crumpled piece of paper at the camera. "I'm in love, that's why. Go ahead, laugh, because I'm in pain."

His lip quivering, Olbermann continued. "And who? God, who is right. My worst...an enemy, the worst person in the world today. Glenn Beck. Can you believe that crap? I just...God, I just don't know.

"I had him on the television the other night and I couldn't stop watching. His mannerisms, his voice, his gentle face. I was just smitten. His show is just so...fabulous." Olbermann paused. "I didn't even know I was gay."

The totally not egocentric host then continued his program, counting off his list of the "Worst People in the World" of the day. Lou Dobbs and Chuck Norris were "Worse and Worser," while Glenn Beck was declared the worst person in the world for "making me, Keith Olbermann, turn like a quarter flipped in the air."

Olbermann then looked around for a crumpled piece of paper to throw at a camera, but realized that he already had in anger. He then sighed, saying "I'm Keith Olbermann."


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