Biden Takes Second Job at Applebee's to Help Reduce Deficit

Michele Chang
Conservative News and Reporting
'News for the Rest of Us'

WASHINGTON- Exclusive
Vice President Joseph Biden has been spied working a second job at an Arlington, VA Applebee's. This incredible information comes as the Vice President is attempting to help bridge the nation's budget deficit by bringing in $9.30 an hour plus tips.

"I know that all of us, all Americans are struggling." said Biden in a phone interview, "And I knew that I had to do my part to help us. That's why I work double-shifts six days a week here, acting as both a short-order cook and a waiter."

The Vice President took the job after the 2009 federal deficit was estimated at $1.75 trillion dollars. Biden's work at the restaurant is estimated to reduce that deficit by almost $300 per week.

Other members of the Washington establishment are working to do their parts. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has been mopping floors at the Pentagon, while Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) has been advising the ACLU.

"This is a great idea," said Biden, "'Cause I'm a great guy. Stuff I'm learning here I'm going to use at the White House. Look out, America."

Biden also stated that he can now make "one mean grilled-cheese sandwich."

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I Like Dick Cheney

I know that everyone has a lot of fun making fun of Dick Cheney. But maybe that just means he's cool. I mean, if a guy is a popular target for dumb college kids and entitled hippies, then maybe he's not that bad of a guy.

I wasn't a fan of the man until 2004, when he bucked party Orthodoxy and declared his support for gay marriage. This was a neat little thing that endeared me to him. He's a shrewd, intelligent politician who is able to accomplish things and wasn't a bad Secretary of Defense.

The worst thing he did as VP was get hammered and shoot his best friend in the face. I mean, if I had a quarter for every time that happened. He was surprisingly open and unapologetic about his role in U.S. policy and was just an interesting guy.

So, Dick, I guess you did a good job, I guess.