ACORN: We Stuffed Ballots

In one of the biggest challenges to the new administration, its political allies are stating that they intentionally attempted to defraud the 2008 Presidential Elections. The Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, which is a major recruitment organization for the Democratic Party, is making no bones about their role in the 2008 contest.

"We couldn't chance it." said Jean Kielty, a mid-level member in the Washington state branch in a telephone interview. "We just could not take the chance of another four years of George Bush. We had a moral obligation."

While these claims may be considered scandalous, they are not unprecedented. In 1960, widespread ballot fraud colored the extremely close race between Richard Nixon and John F. Kennedy. It is not known how widespread the ACORN fraud is.

Kielty continued, "Did we tip the balance in one state or a couple? It's hard to say; but I'd like to think that we did."

Kielty was in charge of overseeing three polling places in Washington, and estimates that up to 600 Obama votes "appeared," while 400 McCain votes were "tossed." However, she could not give estimates for the national effects of ACORN's efforts.

"In North Carolina, I know that Sid [Jasper] threw away a lot, but I don't know exactly how many. People may say that this is voter fraud, but the American voter gave up their right to freely choose after choosing George Bush twice."

As of yet, there is no federal investigation of these charges, seeing how they only appear in a no-name blog, are made up, and are labeled as 'satire.'


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Franken Still Hasn't Won

Despite Al Franken's supposed lead over Senator Norm Coleman, the fight isn't over yet. This Senate seat battle has been marked by votes "appearing" and accusations of double-counting. We're pulling for Coleman, even Joe C.

The panel also rejected Franken's attempt to limit any court review to verifying math and other technicalities of the recount and canvass, clearing the way for the judges to consider Coleman claims that some votes in Democratic areas were counted twice, that some absentee ballots from GOP areas were wrongly rejected and that there were other irregularities.

The panel noted that the Minnesota Supreme Court had ruled that while those claims shouldn't be decided during the recount, they "would be properly heard in an election contest" in court.

Coleman lawyer Ben Ginsberg called the panel's decision "a stinging defeat for Al Franken. It underscores that the Coleman contest will proceed, that there will be a trial."

It appeared that Franken pulled out all of the stops in order to win the seat. These included shady performances and all the lawyering a man can buy. But the best candidate may just win, after all.

Franken Wins in Minnesota

We've been doing a lot of writing about this subject. After months of contentious fighting, it appears that Al Franken (D) has defeated incumbent Norm Coleman (R). This comes after a lot of "funny business," including 'misplaced ballots' and poorly marked votes.

Of course, this 225 vote lead comes despite the fact that at least 650 absentee ballots were not counted. This is suspicious and comes after votes for Franken began "appearing" after the November 4 election.

Naturally, it's not totally over, but it appears that it is for all intents and purposes. Coleman's chances appear to be nil.

The court ruling suggested Coleman's latest request should be a post-election consideration. The Coleman campaign, meanwhile, said it was determined to take the question to court.

"Today's ruling, which effectively disregards the votes of hundreds of Minnesotans, ensures that an election contest is now inevitable," said Coleman attorney Fritz.

Well, things don't always seem too good. We'll see where it goes.

Franken Stealing Election in Minnesota?

Considering that Al Franken hasn't been funny in about two decades, this funny business should come as a surprise. As the Wall Street Journal points out, Norm Coleman's lead appears to be shrinking despite the fact that the official recount hasn't even begun.

Considering how Bush "stole" the election in 2000, this should come as a surprise:

Mr. Ritchie is also an ally of the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, or Acorn, of fraudulent voter-registration fame. That relationship might explain why prior to the election Mr. Ritchie waved off evidence of thousands of irregularities on Minnesota voter rolls, claiming that accusations of fraud were nothing more than "desperateness" from Republicans.

Something's fishy and it appears that the Democrats are likely to pick up another seat in the Senate at any costs.

Wait-- I Thought Elections Were Cancelled!

With all of the 9/11 Truth movement and the "Bush Lied" movement, I could have sworn that I heard that elections were supposed to be canceled today. I haven't voted yet, but it certainly appears that voting is occurring!

I don't know what the problem is! I swear, men in black were supposed to come from Karl Rove's dungeon and destroy voting places. Or... there's going to be massive voter fraud! Well, I guess we have that one covered.

Okay, okay... I'm beginning to hyperventilate. They told me that the 2004 and 2006 elections were supposed to be canceled too. What's happening? Wasn't Bush supposed to declare himself President for life? I'm still waiting for Condoleeza Rice to crown him with olive branches. What's going on? (Not to sound like Admiral Stockdale) I'm sure the army is preparing for the riots after the vote is rigged.

Okay... we just need to see. I might need to move to Iran or some other free nation. I just can't stand the stench of fascism!

Obama Steadily Outpolling McCain Among Recently Deceased

BREAKING:

In a press conference held in Chicago this morning, Obama strategist David Axelrod highlighted recent Zogby poll results from last week regarding one of the fastest-growing demographics in Election 2008.
"These results show that the American living-impaired community has rejected the wasteful policies of George Bush and the Republican Party." he stated.
This comes after the results showed Obama leading 82%-18% among the recently dead community. These statistics are mainly based on impressive get-out-the-vote efforts on the part of the Obama campaign.
William Chetnik, Commissioner of Miami-Dade cemeteries, sees the trend first-hand. "Well, I see them ACORN folks come and take the names off-a them graves. Then those folks, bless their deceased hearts, vote absentee and in states that don't require voter I.D."
ACORN has denied wrongdoing and pointed out that some of the unliving community support Senator John McCain. However, the McCain campaign was quick to point out that many of these are just old people who died since mailing in their absentee ballot. The McCain campaign was also quick to point out that many of their supporters are really, really old.
"We must fight for the rights of all people to vote." said ACORN Ohio chair Rainfall Waterfall-Smith. "The recently deprived of livingness, those who are not citizens, and folks who can be paid to vote." Waterfall-Smith also suggested that some species of domesticated animals may vote in future elections.
With such a commanding lead over this swing demographic, Obama looks sure to win. Experts expect that with the surge of non-living and illiterate voters, Obama will win Election 2004 with at least 60% of the vote.