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Monday, October 27, 2008
Obama Steadily Outpolling McCain Among Recently Deceased
In a press conference held in Chicago this morning, Obama strategist David Axelrod highlighted recent Zogby poll results from last week regarding one of the fastest-growing demographics in Election 2008.
"These results show that the American living-impaired community has rejected the wasteful policies of George Bush and the Republican Party." he stated.
This comes after the results showed Obama leading 82%-18% among the recently dead community. These statistics are mainly based on impressive get-out-the-vote efforts on the part of the Obama campaign.
William Chetnik, Commissioner of Miami-Dade cemeteries, sees the trend first-hand. "Well, I see them ACORN folks come and take the names off-a them graves. Then those folks, bless their deceased hearts, vote absentee and in states that don't require voter I.D."
ACORN has denied wrongdoing and pointed out that some of the unliving community support Senator John McCain. However, the McCain campaign was quick to point out that many of these are just old people who died since mailing in their absentee ballot. The McCain campaign was also quick to point out that many of their supporters are really, really old.
"We must fight for the rights of all people to vote." said ACORN Ohio chair Rainfall Waterfall-Smith. "The recently deprived of livingness, those who are not citizens, and folks who can be paid to vote." Waterfall-Smith also suggested that some species of domesticated animals may vote in future elections.
With such a commanding lead over this swing demographic, Obama looks sure to win. Experts expect that with the surge of non-living and illiterate voters, Obama will win Election 2004 with at least 60% of the vote.
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