Thursday, November 5, 2009

Obama to Promote Calvin Klein's Newest Cologne: "Recession"

WASHINGTON- To combat dropping sales of Calvin Klein's Obsession cologne, and spread awareness of unemployment, the multi-billion dollar corporation has received the aid of America's biggest celebrity: the President.

"It was weird, you know," Klein said in an exclusive interview. "The President gave me a call, telling me that the government would always be there if my company started losing money. He was a God-send.

"I asked him, you know, 'don't you have to combat unemployment,' and he was like, 'what now?' So I told him about unemployment breaking ten percent. He didn't know what I was talking about, but he kept saying 'wow, people should really know about this employment thing.'

"It just so happened that sales had also been declining for us and a brand-new cologne was dropping that week," Klein continued. "I had a genius idea: combine the new cologne and unemployment. It was a match made in heaven.

"All I did was ask him to do an ad or two, and he asked 'when and where?' Just like that."

Recession, which is going to be available to the public this Christmas season, is highly anticipated by cologne enthusiasts. It is also expected to revive slumping Calvin Klein sales.

According to Klein PR sources, ads featuring the President will start airing in mid-November. These ads have been carefully protected, and few details are known about them.

However, PR sources have confirmed that President Obama will be featured prominently in the ads. Furthermore, it is confirmed that the President will be shown shirtless and will whisper "Recession" in camera close-ups.

"I am looking forward to these ads," stated the President Monday. "Calvin is a good friend of mine and I'm always looking to help him out. He also promised me a free case of the stuff, so I'll be smelling like Recession for months to come."

There is no word yet if the Recession will affect the President's approval rating.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Now THAT'S satire, and quite good. The thing with Joe Klein was not, it was just stupid.