Yes, it might actually happen. Politico is reporting on the close ties between Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and the Secretary of Defense Robert Gates. In it, the two Cabinet members basically seem to ignore the President to launch a more grown-up foreign and military policy. But one part is particularly interesting:
Gates, who has long signaled an eagerness to retire, just launched what appears to be his final initiative, a tough push to scale back the Pentagon’s gargantuan bureaucracy. Clinton, with her hawkish image and ties to Gates and to military brass, would be his most logical successor — and some of her most senior allies have begun quietly to float the notion.
As President Barack Obama continues dithering on the decision to send reinforcements to our troops in the field in Afghanistan, many of those around him are urging him to send more troops quickly. These include the Secretary of State and the Secretary of Defense. What Obama will eventually do is as of yet unknown.
Unfortunately there is also this horrifying news:
But administration officials cautioned that Mr. Obama had not yet made up his mind, and that other top advisers, among them Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. and the White House chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, remained skeptical of the value of a buildup.
Man, I hope he doesn't talk to Biden. He's a retard. He's been wrong on just about every foreign policy issue since 2004.
We need to surge up to 60,000 troops in by February and give them the counterinsurgency strategy which will eventually decrease all casualties: US, NATO, and Afghan and will halt the Taliban. With the Taliban weakened in Afghanistan, the Pakistani military can close in on the other side of the border.
Is it easy? No. Thousands of people will die (hopefully all Taliban and al Qaeda). It will take at least a year and maybe five (if not more). But unless you're REALLY hankerin' for a jet to fly into another office building, we better get the job done.
President Obama has earned flak from critics for his so-called inaction against North Korea; now it seems there's a reason why. According to a spokesman for the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the President believes that the threat posed by the North Koreans is "overblown."
"The President doesn't want to act either positively or negatively based on the short-term actions by a country," the spokesperson stated. "He also does not want to act on something that he feels has been exaggerated by his political rivals."
When asked what the President thought of the UN resolution to sanction North Korea, he stated that Mr. Obama was "very upset."
Raymond Downing, an adjunct professor at Princeton, tried to explain the President's actions. "It is very clear to see a connection here," he said. "During the lead up to the Iraq war, President Obama did not join the public and start blindly accusing Iraq of so-called weapons of mass destruction. In the end, he was right to vote against the war.
"The same is happening now," Downing continued. "The right is calling bloody murder over North Korea launching their weapons, when the real threat is not what they say. The President is right to look at the situation in every way he can.
"It's his responsibility," he concluded.
In a circular distributed by White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, the rationale was made more clear.
"The President will always try to understand all sides of a conflict; it is a stated goal that he has made while a candidate and as President. To abandon it now would be wrong.
"It is also clear that the United States' actions against North Korea can only be so much," the classified memo continues. "We cannot invade the North because of a few provocative actions, and we must always give nations a chance to redeem themselves. In truth, the North has done nothing to warrant substantial penalties."
Despite the President's claims, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates disagrees. According to one of his press representatives, "Mr. Gates believes that the threat posed by North Korea is a real one, and that to allow them to continue on their destructive path unabated could prove disastrous.
"It is the hope of Mr. Gates that the President will come to the same conclusion that he has come to," the press rep also stated.
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WASHINGTON- Secretary of Defense Robert Gates is furious with a potential break with accepted US foreign policy. In an attempt to win the support of the Russian government, President Obama has released a statement in which he doubts START I, or the Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty.
In a classified statement released through Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, the President writes that "the United States cannot impose its will on foreign nations. This is also true when it comes to the START agreement; our nation cannot force nuclear dearmament on small nations, let alone the largest nation on earth."
"We expect a lot of flak over this," the statement continues. "But those that would be most against it are those looking either for attention or control."
Recent news shows that Russia is not pleased with the current administration because of its stance towards Georgia joining NATO. This step by the President could be a move to gain support from US naysayers.
A spokesman for Admiral Michael Mullen, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, states that the Obama Administration is in talks to allow Russia to produce more nuclear arms than START I stipulates. The spokesperson also stated that the United States would not interfere with the positioning of the armaments.
In a memo to the President, Gates sounded his concerns with the potential actions. In the document, the Secretary of Defense writes that "it is a noble goal to try and reach out to former rivals and nations, but not at the cost of vulnerability. If handled incorrectly, this could have disastrous consequences."
The time frame for these changes are currently unknown, but they are expected to be announced sometime in July.
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WASHINGTON- In a surprising turn of events, months of US military planning have proved useless when it was revealed to President Obama that real armies are not used similarly to Risk, a popular board game.
The revelation comes at a time when the President has planned an invasion of North Korea because of their recent aggressive actions.
"This is terrible," said Secretary of Defense Robert Gates. "The President had planned to turn in cards and bolster the United States army. Not only would we have strengthened our forces of men, but also we'd have added a couple cannons and three horses... He even had two free men in the Eastern United States."
President Obama had planned to conquer Kamchatka from Alaska with his new army. "From there, I would be able to strike Mongolia, which is where the Korean peninsula is located," the President stated. "The only problem is that the gray army is strong there, and their roller always wants a redo when the dice go off the table."
According to sources, the Commander in Chief had even prepared for the invasion by opening older versions of Risk and placing blocks and Roman Numerals on the board.
Unfortunately, President Obama was informed late last night that the military attack would not be feasible. "They told me that my men on the board didn't really count," said Obama, referring to the Joint Chiefs of Staff. "I said that they were just jealous that I had been rolling sixes all game. But, no, they said that North Korea does not recognize the supremacy of a board game.
"On the bright side," said the President, "this won't affect my plans to invade Indonesia via Siam. If I can get Australia, I'll get two extra men a turn."
The President is also reportedly planning on playing Monopoly with CEOs from major US car companies.
Inter-linked at Wizbang (which is an awesome site)
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WASHINGTON- Admiral Michael Mullen, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, is extremely frustrated with a new negotiating tactic that the White House is contemplating.
In an attempt to curtail aggressive actions by the North Korean government, including firing long- and short-range missiles, in an internal memo President Obama has offered a compromised approach: a limited amount of small nuclear weaponry in exchange for the end of provocative actions.
In the previously classified memo, President Obama outlined a plan to limit North Korea's path towards weapons by allowing them to be in possession of some, in hopes that they would not persuade more. This includes "at most four nuclear weapons capable of being used via rocket warhead."
A spokeswoman for President Obama heralded the plan as a sign that "peace can find a way, so long as two side can negotiate." She went on to state that the President believed, since North Korea already had nuclear weapons, there was no reason to persuade the nation to stop nuclear research.
Despite the President's plan, North Korea has not responded to his offer and he has been presented with resistance by Admiral Mullen. In a circular distributed by White House Press, Admiral Mullen writes that the plan, if handled incorrectly, could have "catastrophic consequences."
As of now, there is no clear timetable for the enactment of this policy. However, a spoeman for Secretary of Defense Robert Gates reported that it could be put into action by this July 4th holiday.
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B-2 Plans for Sale? Richard Hogarty Boston Reviewer June 1, 2009
Record deficits and a crashing economy appear to be taking a toll on the young Barack Obama Administration. The Administration has been talking about hiking income taxes and perhaps instituting a VAT tax.
China is also concerned with the mounting deficits in the United States budget. China is the single biggest holder of US Treasury Bonds and is one of Washington's biggest trading partners. The People's Republic has had a burgeoning economy, but is increasingly wary of the falling US dollar.
While the exact amount of Chinese ownership of US treasuries is unknown, it is estimated to add up to over a trillion dollars. If China were to call in US guarantees on these bonds, economists fear it could lead to an economic collapse larger than the Great Depression.
China has recently expanded its defense budget, ostensibly to keep up with its economic growth. China is reportedly working on its own version of a stealth bomber (the US has the only functioning model) but is lagged by technological defects.
On April 1st, President Obama spoke to Chinese Premier Hu Jintao during the G20 Summit. During this meeting, Mr. Hu expressed interest in writing off some of the US debt in exchange for military technology. The President has since referred the matter to Defense Secretary Robert Gates.
The Defense Department is reportedly furious with the President's proposal to sell blueprints of the B-2 Spirit stealth bomber to the People's Republic. Gates has flatly rejected the President's plan, but has since been asked to step down if he will not facilitate the process.
According to the deal, the United States would sell the plans for the B-2, along with radar-absorbing paints and metals in exchange for $50 billion in debt relief. The B-2 cost the US government $23 billion to develop the bomber in the 1980s.
According to the Administration, this proposal will help the United States resolve its debt issues. They point out their belief that the B-2 bomber is "strategically obsolete", according to a source in the White House Press Office. In addition, the source claims that the Chinese would be unable to create their own functioning stealth bomber fleet for "at least eight years."
American allies Taiwan, Japan, and South Korea are very wary of the proposal. Koo Syi, a geopolitical analyst from South Korea, points out that this technology could be passed to China's allies. This was the case when Chinese nuclear technology was transferred to Pakistan and North Korea. According to Koo, Obama has rendered US allies' opinions as "irrelevant."
While this proposal is controversial, it is not being presented to Congress, where it could meet with stern opposition. Instead, the State Department has been informed to assist the Defense Department with the transfer of materials.
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Harold Terry Conservative News and Reporting 'News for the Rest of Us'
CAMP DAVID
Defense Secretary Robert Gates is extremely concerned over intelligence reports that American stockpiles of funk have reached record lows. It is estimated that the levels, which dropped below 'fly' last week, could reach as low as 'jive.'
These deficits are believed to be caused by the election of the United States' first celebrity President, who graces TMZ and People more than Lindsay Lohan and Angelina Jolie's breasts.
"This is beyond words," said the Defense Secretary, "If this keeps up, our domestic production of funk could fall to just 50,000 kilofunks this year. At this rate, we'd be dependent on foreign-produced funk."
The top funkologist at the University of Hip has explained the funk deficit. "The biggest producers of funk outside the United States are Spain, Argentina, and Iran. Iran alone provides one-third of the world's funk supply through traditional means, such as goat dances and American flag cook-ins."
President Obama is attempting to fix the funk gap. He has instituted a mandatory statute for all Americans to 'get down' this year at least twice. He has also called for the increased usage of break dancing.
"This is a momentous day," said Gates, "When we can meet our challenges by putting on our platform shoes and getting funky."
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Conservative News and Reporting "News for the Rest of Us" Michele Chang
NOTE: This article is, in fact, a satire piece. While you're here, read other articles, like Obama going on the quarter, how he's genetically superior, and how he took down Blago. And you can also check out Joe's Babe of the Week, which comes out every Friday. And become a fan and return and tell your friends. Word up.
NOTE: This article did not appear in, or was sanctioned in any way by the National Law Journal.
Secretary of Defense Robert Gates is extremely frustrated with orders that the White House is contemplating. According to sources at the Pentagon, including all branches of the armed forces, the Obama Administration may break with a centuries-old tradition.
A spokesman for General James Cartwright, the Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, states that the Obama Administration wants to have soldiers and officers pledge a loyalty oath directly to the office of the President, and no longer to the Constitution.
"The oath to the Constitution is as old as the document itself." the spokesman said, "At no time in American history, not even in the Civil War, did the oath change or the subject of the oath differ. It has always been to the Constitution."
The back-and-forth between the White House and the Defense Department was expected as President George W. Bush left office. President Obama has already signed orders to close Guantanamo and to pull combat troops from Iraq. But, this, say many at the Defense Department, goes too far.
"Technically, we can't talk about it before it becomes official policy." the spokesman continued. "However, the Defense Department, including the Secretary, will not take this laying down. Expect a fight from the bureaucracy and the brass."
Sources at the White House had a different point of view. In a circular distributed by White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, the rationale for the change was made more clear.
"The President feels that the military has been too indoctrinated by the old harbingers of hate: nationalism, racism, and classism. By removing an oath to the American society, the soldiers are less likely to commit atrocities like those at Abu Ghraib."
"We expect a lot of flak over this," the classified memo continues. "But those that would be most against it are those looking either for attention or control."
The time frame for the changes are unknown. However, it is more likely that the changes will be made around the July 4th holiday, in order to dampen any potential backlash. The difference in the oath will actually only be slight. The main differences will be the new phrasing. It is expected that the oath to the Constitution will be entirely phased out within two years.
It looks like President-Elect Obama will keep Defense Secretary Robert Gates, at least for a little while. For the former Senator, this is his first good move as President-Elect: keeping an intelligent person at his position as well as showing a bipartisan flair.
There's been a lot of talk about who Barack Obama will choose to become his next Secretary of State. It may be a good idea for him to concentrate on his Secretary of Defense, too. Obama has talked about bipartisanship a great deal during the campaign, so this is his chance to demonstrate it.
Robert Gates has been a non-partisan, steady hand at the Pentagon since the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld. He has overseen the surge strategy that is decimating al Qaeda in Iraq and has been a very pragmatic secretary.
There are other candidates for the job, to be sure. However, it is up to Obama to blend both competency and bipartisanship. If Gates or someone similar is not named, then Obama's campaign promises are nil.
