Shock as Obama Declares Dinars American Currency

Washington--

A visible pall was over the White House as President Obama announced that the American dollar was the currency of the past. During a press conference, the President announced that the United States dollar was going to be phased out and the Iraqi Dinar would become the official currency.

"The way I look at it is this," the President said, "We, uh, really, uh, destroyed the country of Iran-- Iraq, and we need to make it up to them. And, uh, by using their currency, we can, uh, begin the process of healing."

Reporters from MSNBC called the decision "heroic" and "long overdue." Reporter Bret Baier from FoxNews asked President Obama if the American people would accept his decision.

"One thing, Fox," the President responded, "Is that the American people gave me a clear mandate over that old guy. You, uh, sometimes have to be bold and contiguous."

When asked why he used the word contiguous in his statement, the President asked that Baier be escorted from the room.

White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan explained later in a written statement, "The Iraqi Dinar was once worth over three dollars. It is unlikely that the dollar would be worth three dollars. In fact, it is only too often that I had to exchange three dollars for one dollar at the grocery mart."

The Dinar is expected to become popular in places such as Massachusetts and Manhattan. Parts of California already use the Iranian Rial as official currency.

"This is a great day." said San Francisco resident Destiny Rainfall, "Hopefully there will be the day when we will not need to use money. Someday." Rainfall then got on her high horse. It is unknown if she will ever get down.

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