Tuesday, April 7, 2009

10 Tips to Run for Office

Dr. Joe, being the Chief Justice on the Supreme Court of the State of Alabama, would like to present you with some surefire tips to gain traction in the political world.

1. Speak extra-slowly, so the dumber constituents will understand.
2. Do not kiss babies, they might have germs.
3. Campaign on the 'will only lie to you three times a day' line.
4. Don't run as a Communist or National Socialist.
5. Keep pro-Stalin comments to a minimum.
6. Call your opponent a 'felon'.
7. Show your support for the NRA by showing a gun at the State Legislature.
8. Remind the voters that the end is nigh, unless you are elected.
9. Divorce your wife, so it's technically not an affair.
10. Speak only in Swedish.

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