1. I was drunk.
2. Pat Buchanan wasn't running.
3. Acorn gave me $20.
4. I wanted to see the world end before things got boring.
5. I was ready for change-- but then I realized that that would require changing things.
6. His wife has such poise and intellect.
7. I wanted to see Rahm Emanuel in shorts.
8. Cause I desired Al Franken as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
9. I didn't vote.
10. I wanted to shut Jon Stewart up.
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