Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Joe's Technology of the Week

Dr. Joe, MD has returned from the jungles of Borneo with the newest contraptions known to mankind. Having been an associate of Tesla, Machiavelli, and Jefferson, I have come to know things that would cause an ordinary man's head to explode in righteous fury!

Joe's Technology of the Week:
The Cotton Gin


Invented by Eli Whitney just last year, this technological marvel will assuredly change the world. With two-thirds of our economy coming from farmed goods, we must make sure that we can keep the balance of cotton over those dirty Egyptian mongrels.

Among the hidden advantages of the cotton gin, it will slow the development of automated machinery. With this great aspect, we will be able to keep our unpaid laborers on the fields longer, making sure that they enjoy their pig's tripe and cow brains. By prolonging this so-called "slavery," we can rocket our economy into the twentieth century.With these techonolgical leaps, it is estimated that a man could buy a shirt for less than one-hundred dollars! We must make sure that we keep this technology our of the hands of the Prussians, lest they ransack the whole of Europe in cheap textiles!

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