Wednesday, March 25, 2009

After Fox news bash of Canada Pentagon says invading is "a good idea"

As you may or may not know recently a Fox News show bashed Canada for saying they may pull their troops out of Afghanistan. The comments saying that Canadians are "not a smart culture" due to mounties wearing red jackets, which are easily seen in the completely snow covered lands of the north, and that they are lazy and weak. They went so far as to say that it was time for the US to invade them before Russia does so to gain acces to the US. The Canadian response to the comments was shocking as it was not known that Canadians could in fact become angry. When interviewing a large sample size of the Canadian people (3) a seemingly senile homeless Canadian veteran took the spotlight. He claimed that something called "Canadian Spirit and Courage" was equivalent to the US's military might and could stand up to any of our technology.

The Pentagon released a statement shortly after the comments aired that said, "despite our constant satellite coverage of Canada no development or storage sites of this CSC was found. It must be in a underground facility". Following this announcement the Pentagon spokesperson said that considering the secretive and suspicious nature of Canada's actions that invading Canada was "a good idea". Then General John C.B. Cande presented the U.S.'s military strategy for invading Canada. "We will drive across the border and listen to them apologize over the sound of their crushing bones under our tanks". He added, " Russia must never threaten the US or its allies."

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Aurelius said...

This author may be the greatest of all-time. Pulitzer, anyone?

Anonymous said...

is this true!?!?!?!

Anonymous said...

Those last two minutes would have been better spent picking my nose.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha...very funny!

@Anon - some of it is true, like the part where Canadians are insulted by a bunch of idiots.


The Atheist Missionary said...

I hope every parent serving in Iraq or Afghanistan will read this:

snowboarder.101 said...

BS the pentagon would never of said that or everyone would of been jumping on there tail