10. Laughing his ass off that he doesn't have to deal with this crap any more.
9. Sailing on his boat "the Crusader."
8. Surfing the internets.
7. Travelling abroad to countries that like him: Albania and Georgia.
6. Sleeping days at a time, hunting deer with AK47s, and cutting down trees with karate chops.
5. Planting “Don’t mess with Texas” signs throughout his lawn.
4. Playing Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots with his brother.
3. Going to sleep-overs with Donald Rumsfeld and Condi Rice.
2. Trying to expect the Spanish Inquisition.
1. Listening to Coast to Coast a.m., realizing President Obama is a lizardman, moving to Canada.
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