Monday, March 30, 2009

Dr. Joe's Tips on How to Attract a Mate

10. Roll your Rs after everything you say.
9. Make sure you pee on everything nearby to mark your territory.
8. Don't paint over the Perot/Stockdale sticker you have on your 1988 station wagon.
7. Seriously, stop playing WoW.
6. Wear sunglasses at night, you know, to make you look cool.
5. When asking a girl out, do not say, "If I'm not busy, you'd like to take me out."
4. To impress women, always flex your muscles at them and grunt loudly.
3. Prove your manliness by dropping an anvil on someone's head.
2. German is not the language of love. Period.
1. When asking someone to "go out" with you, don't tell the girl that by "go" you mean "sleep with" and by "out" you mean "me."

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