Thursday, June 25, 2009

Obama Rescinds Invitations to Iranian Diplomats, Vows He Will "Never Invite Them Over for a Slumber Party" Again

WASHINGTON- After days of being grilled over his open invitation to Iranian diplomats for July 4th celebrations, President Obama today withdrew his offer. At the same time, the President also stated that he was very "upset" at the Iranian government, and that he won't allow them over for that sleep-over party at Billy Mitchell's house this weekend either.

Robert Gibbs, speaking on the subject, tried to put the President's decision in perspective. "After it came out that the President had extended his hand to a tyrannical regime that represses freedom, he refused to withdraw his offer. However, when poll numbers came out that the public was outraged, he took back the invitation.

"But, I'll tell you what, the Iranians are going to miss out. Susie Robinson's supposed to be there too, and, like, all the kids in the neighborhood are going to be there. Iran's going to feel left out and jealous Monday at school."

The President himself also stated that Iran's iron fist has caused it to "miss out on staying up late, eating junk food, and watching movies."

Mahmud Ahmadinejad, the "President" of Iran, released a statement condemning the United States. Speaking through a translator, Ahmadinejad stated that "he didn't want to go anyway," and that he was "too cool for that party anyway."

"I don't like Billy Mitchell, anyway," he added.

The consequences of Obama's decision to disinvite Iran are yet to be fully gauged, but analysts project that Iran's popularity in James Polk Middle School will totally take a hit.

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