It's been years since I received my Doctorate from Her Majesty's Medical College at Oxford. However, in that time I have been chasing down some of the best technological advances to make sure that you live a longer, healthier life! After all, if you can't live to work in the coal mines, why live at all?
Joe's Technology of the Week:
Amputation
With the rise of the Crimean War and the continual problems with maggots, we must make sure as a society that we are prepared. That is why Dr. Joe, MD has prepared for you the best cure for most of your ailments. These could include a bullet in the foot, typhus, or even a simple cough.
By amputating everything from feet, arms, and even the genitals, the human body can regain all of its functions. We all know that illnesses are caused by bad thoughts and curses, so if you were contemplating bawdy things about the local schoolmistress, you can solve that at once by taking a rusty blade to your bollocks.
With just fourteen hours of cutting, most everything can be removed from the human body. It has been reported that up to 55% of those who undergo amputation survive the process! Sign me up today! Further, almost 25% do not suffer from chronic infection or gangrene!
So call up your local doctor or get out that trusty mitre saw and get chopping!
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