Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Kim Jong-Il Wins in Squeaker

Kim Jong-il, the illustrious President and hero of North Korea, has won reelection in a close election. Kim won 100% of the votes, with 99.98% of the votes cast. This is the closest election in North Korea in thirty years.

Some pundits question whether the reduced turnout will hurt Mr. Kim's mandate.

"This could cause Kim to not be able to push through his Starvation Initiative," said Sun Kim San, a dissident in Yongbyon, before being summarily executed.

The damage done by this close election could be seen in several years, when Kim is expected to die.

"Kim will never die." said the State Press, "He is a god."

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