Joseph Henry Chicoine
Writing for this business is usually fun, but it doesn't prepare you for moments like this. Joseph Henry Chicoine, senior writer for Jumping in Pools, had his life tragically cut short yesterday. While attending a seminar on the dangers of gluten, a sniper's bullet struck Joe in the chest, causing his heart to explode. The doctors did all they could, but he was already gone.The man you knew as Joe was an eclectic person, full of whimsy and cunning. He is perhaps best known for bedding both Christie Brinkley and Catherine Zeta-Jones simulatenously. This feat was almost matched by Joe punching Mahmoud Ahmadinejad into a pile of pigfat and then suffocating him with a yarmulke.
Joe contributed sparingly to Jumping in Pools, having quit the Wall Street Journal because it didn't challenge him. After not posting for almost a month, we had to come to the sad, sad, conclusion, that Joe, the love of our lives, was gone.
We actually don't know if he's dead or not, but he hasn't been posting. This must mean either he doesn't want to post, or was run down by a steamroller last night. We are investigating.
Rest in piece. And write an article from heaven.
Consider advertising on our site!
Also, if you need to search anything on Google, please use the bar below:
3 comments:
we'll miss joe
does that mean i run the snakes now?
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post a Comment