1. If you're one of 95% of Americans, you will receive up to 10 cents in tax breaks.
2. If you're poor, you won't feel as alone in four years.
3. You may still have your home.
4. The bailouts mean that if you are an AIG executive, you get a lot more cash for crashing the company.
5. Your McCain bumper sticker will attract women.
6. Jindal 2012.
7. You can take a wheelbarrow full of money to get a loaf of bread. Think of the exercise!
8. The economic downturn causes you to-- all right, you're screwed.
9. Not going out because you have no money decreases the chances you'll get mugged.
10. You finally get to say, "I told you so."
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