Monday, January 26, 2009

Obama to Launch "America Scouts"

In an advance copy received by World Net Daily, it appears that the President's new administration is going to try a bold new approach regarding the nation's youths. President Obama's staff is furiously working to finish the first draft of a new youth program, which would rival the traditional boy scouts.

Known as the "America Scouts," these programs would be announced on March 1 of this year and the program would begin building a skeleton during the summer. On August 4, or Obama's 48th birthday, the program would begin accepting children between the ages of 4 and 18.

While the exact specifications of the program are either secret or yet to be established, it is believed that there will be three classes of scouts. "Liberty" scouts for children betweeen 4-8. "Patriot" scouts for those between 8-12 and "Constitution" scouts for those up to 18. It is yet unknown if these "Constitution Scouts" would then move up to President Obama's planned civilian reserve force.

What was made clear by contacts in the Administration is that portions of the White House believe that the Boy Scouts are too old and sedentary. In addition, their ties with religion are undesirable to the new Administration. A fresh start would focus these new scouts on the government, especially in these times of change.

As long as the program is passed by Congress, the America Scouts will be officially run by the federal government, but would be administered by each of the 50 states. The President would have the power to appoint a Scout Commissioner for an 8-year term. The President would run the Scouts and have them state in their oath their responsibility to him.

Costs for the America Scouts have not been determined. However, it appears that the program could cost up to $2 billion a year. In order to make up for the costs, parents will be encouraged to contribute and special "reeducation" projects such as "Social Responsibility" will be paid for directly by the federal government.

In order to apply for employment, please write to:

Employment
c/o America Scouts
U.S. Department of Education
400 Maryland Avenue, SW
Washington, D.C. 20202

24 comments:

Editor in Chief said...

If this is true :

YIKES!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I don't believe it. We need more proof or documentation here.

Quiet said...

You need to more than just a satire tag at the bottom of the post on this one ,especially when you refer to other sources, that don't support what your satire says.

How many would check the WND to see if they have any thing on this or double check with a web search.

Sorry but this just has too much potential to get blown up into something on the web since you did not clearly identify it as satire except that one tag.

Bad form.

Matthew Avitabile said...

Sometimes you need to be shocked to realize what's going on. To think it's real is to realize what you could lose.

Quiet said...

Well for example this post got picked up by Free Republic and they didn't catch it at first that it was satire.

Makes no sense for satire not to be labeled clearly so that it doesn't go as a viral thing all over the net and cause a lot of grief for others as it spreads and they have to walk it back.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, if this is Satire you should Mention it in the Article also and not be someome that Spreads False stories and Rumors Matthew, then you only cause confusion and make people unwilling to believe anything that's really happening. That something like this is even Feasible under Abomination is Bad enough. But to Make Confuse Fact with Fiction is Disinformation we don't need. For instance you are Now no Longer a Credible Source!!!!!!!! Remember the Boy Who Cried Wolf, Eventually the Wolf Really Did Come!!!!!! I hope you understand my Point Matthew!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Is this real?

Anonymous said...

C'mon guys. It's clearly satire, and it's tagged as such. Instead of asking bloggers to wave a big "satire" flag every paragraph, how about flexing some of those critical thinking and skepticism muscles of yours and, if something smells fishy, look around for evidence that it's bunk. In this case, as many of you point out, the evidence is sitting right in the tag line. But, in the cases of WND and other faux news sites, you may have to dig deeper. The responsibility is on you, the reader, to do due diligence in sorting out truth from fiction. Besides, it's satire, so have a little fun for once.

Network Geek said...

Actually, Quiet, I think the point IS for it to go viral on the Internet so as to draw links and attention and, maybe, to make people stop and think. Of course, asking people to stop and think, even if it's just long enough to notice the "satire" tag at the bottom of the post, may just be too much for the average Internet "reader".

Anonymous said...

What ever happened to treating everything on the internet as false until proven true? If this showed up on CNN.com or NYTimes.com I could understand you getting upset (and if they picked it up here and reposted it, shame on them!) but seriously people, think for yourselves occasionally!

BIL said...

Hey! It's on the internet! It must be true!

Anonymous said...

The thing that really makes one go "hmmm" is that reality is now close enough to the possibility of something like this happening that it worries folks.

Anonymous said...

It's been confirmed that this whole thing is just a hoax.

Anonymous said...

This is from the Presidents website and this is what Obama wants to do:
http://change.gov/americaserves/

Obama and Biden will call on citizens of all ages to serve. They'll set a goal that all middle school and high school students engage in 50 hours of community service a year, and develop a plan for all college students who engage in 100 hours of community service to receive a fully-refundable tax credit of $4,000 for their education. Obama and Biden will encourage retiring Americans to serve by improving programs available for individuals over age 55, while at the same time promoting youth programs such as Youth Build and Head Start.

Anonymous said...

"Scouts" & "scouting" is a global trademark of the world scouting council meaning it can not be used without permission, also this has to be passed by congress, and most of them our voulenters, leaders, and eagle scouts goodness even Senator Harry Reid is a leader & and both of my senators are adult voulenteers/leaders, I will not be suprised if this is taken down by Congress, plus the Civillian Reserve Force has not been authorised by Congress

Anonymous said...

Spawning baseless rumors like this hurts America. Please stop doing it. It's only a matter of time before Hannity is reporting this as fact and whipping legions of paranoid conservatives into a potentially violent frenzy. Again, please cease and desist.

2dBride said...

I am a long time reader of Snopes (see http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/americascouts.asp). What strikes me as most troubling about this story (and about 500 others previously debunked by Snopes) is that there is a group of people willing to believe virtually anything negative if it is about Obama. And if those people are called on it, they say something like, "That something like this is even Feasible under Abomination is Bad enough." Leaving aside the usual errors of spelling and punctuation, the only reason this is considered "feasible" is because the commenter believes the other 500 baseless rumors about Obama. No arguments are advanced for why this would be feasible--it is considered feasible because the commenter is moronic enough to believe it.

George F. Rice said...

@2dBride: "What strikes me as most troubling about this story ... is that there is a group of people willing to believe virtually anything negative if it is about Obama."

Exactly. Good thing there was no group of people willing to believe virtually anything negative if it was about Bush! Or Clinton! Or Reagan! "Change you can believe in."

Ahem.

Marcus said...

Tee Hee Hee this is funny. The story was good for a few laughs but the comments are far funnier. It amazes me that some people will believe anything. I guess one is born every minute.

Let's see, you're going to get "news" from a page called "jumping in Ponds"?

I'm in favor of an alternative to the Mormon run Boy Scouts of America. Maybe a group can get together that doesn't allow it's leaders to molest the boys in their care. But that's another topic.

Lighten up people. Verify facts. Assume nothing. And enjoy the fun when someone pokes fun at your prejudices. Makes life much more enjoyable.

Thomas Roche said...

Satire is also supposed to be funny. This is just f#*@$*!ing stupid paranoid right-wing garbage with the "satire" tag to justify your extreme hate speech. Screw you.

Anonymous said...

Snopes has ALREADY been discredited by most freedom-loving Americans!

And here's the part that the present Obama Administration doesn't want you to know! (it is spelled out in Article 201B-76 section-C) - The "PROOF OF DOCUMENTATION" you wanted!

Preference for the "leaders" (Scoutmasters) will be given to qualified young black man and Homosexuals. If they are both, all the better. No more "Don't ask, don't tell" regarding the old boy-scout system!
This is to establish "cultural sensitivity" among America's alienated middle-class youth.

Oh- and here's the kicker: As there are not enough tough "women" (they are all fighting in Iraq) to train the young female side of this corps, the Administration has actually outsourced this job to Nigeria. Yes Nigeria!
The elite Nigerian 419th Battalion supposedly will be given the job. These thugs, drunk on the hallucinatory Pinoqachole liqueur , were responsible for the many atrocities in the Christian south of Nigeria. Don't believe me? Just google "Nigeria 419" to see the ugly truth!
And now the Obama administration, trying to get more precious oil from Nigeria, has asked these deviates to "train" our young girls!
The old expression "Lock up your daughters" is no longer a joke in America!

I would sign my name here, but I have a 17 year-old daughter.

Anonymous said...

THAT'S who those guys are! I saw a bunch of big black dudes, dressed in Army fatigues and carrying big machine guns.
I live in Backon Rouge, GA and there's some kind of camp full of them, just outside of town.
My neighbor, Ted Greichey who has the liquer store on Oak street, said a bunch of them were in his store, trying to by Pinoqachole.
When he told 'em this stuff is illegal in America, they got real abusive.
They all have this "419" on their lapel. And when I looked up the flag on their shoulders, it is indeed a Nigerian flag! They are already here, and our military (whats left of em at home) seem to be cooperating.
What do we do now? Ask Obama? HA!
Whats gonna happen to the good citizens of Bacon Rouge, when these basterds get stinkin drunk some Saturdey nite?

Anonymous said...

To Anonymous (author of previous two comments about Nigerians):

It's not going to work. I can only assume that the purpose of these last two posts, and the original "news" story for that matter, is to try to come up with something so outrageously absurd that even the people who believe Obama is a mutant grown from a combination of Hitlier's and Idi Amin's DNA, plus he shoots lasers from his eyes, will have to realize this is getting silly.

Nope, sorry. Not going to happen.

If I put the sentence "Obama is a mutant grown from a combination of Hitlier's and Idi Amin's DNA, plus he shoots lasers from his eyes" anywhere on the internet, then in three days everyone in Tulsa will be saying it's "plausible" and emailing it to their aunts and cousins with notes saying "I always did think there was something funny about his eyes." I don't believe it's possible to make up a negative piece of satire that they won't believe, so you can just quit trying.

Anonymous said...

I realize Snopes will deny it, but - Obama is a mutant grown from a combination of Hitlier's and Idi Amin's DNA, plus he shoots lasers from his eyes.

Hard to believe? Just ask Bill Witherspoon, gas station attendant at Sunoco on Route 9 in Tulsa. And ask SEVERAL OTHER people in Tulsa!
The army there is under direct command by the White House. And so is 62% of the American Internet.
Gawd! The freaks are getting closer. Arm yourselves! And don't pick up the phone, if you live in Tulsa!
Thank goodness I live in BaconRouge- it's bad enough here with these African Army guys in that camp on the edge of town!