Sunday, February 22, 2009

Dr. Orfannkyl

Disclaimer: This article is satire and is in no way meant to depict real images on the ground in Iraq or any other nation. It is based on the exploits of a High School Chemistry teacher in Up-State New York who was a Sergeant in the US Marine Corps.

Semper Fi cadets. Lying here in the bush waiting for the ragheads to attack gives me time to write.

As I walked through Baghdad yesterday I caught wind of a plot by terrorists to blow up U.S. troops. Like hell! I grabbed my AK and a Cuban cigar and was off. Intel said that they were in the vicinity of Ahmed Lane and Mohammad Street, right next to the starving orphanage complex.

As I approached the intersection, out ran dozens of little Muslims. My glasses were back at the barracks and I couldn’t take any chances. I whipped out my AK and mowed them down. One escaped into the orphanage, so, to destroy any chance of an outbreak of terrorists, I napalmed the place to the ground. I feasted like a king that night on orphan intestines, with the sweet taste of a job well done.

Damn, my cigar’s going out, Semper Fi!

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