Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Obama 'Close' to Firing Hillary Clinton

NOTE: This is a satirical article, which never appeared in any form in the Los Angeles Times, but is wholly representative of this site and this site only, it is solely meant for satirical purposes.

After Policy Clashes, Clinton's Role in White House 'Marginalized'

Jeremy Kimball

BANGKOK THAILAND-- Dining with Thai Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton discussed widening ties between the US and the Southeastern Asian nation. Earlier in the day, the Secretary discussed the possibility of a US defense shield in the Middle East to counteract Iranian influence.

While on the surface this appears to be the ordinary work of America's chief diplomat, it is part of the shrinking role of the Clinton dynasty. President Obama chose the former First Lady after intense political pressure. The former rivals vowed to work together and were photographed at high-profile events in January and February.

However, since the disputed elections in Iran on June 12, there has been a widening split in the White House over foreign policy. President Obama, flanked by Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel believe in the 'balanced' approach the President has been taking on the subject. However, some in the White House, including Vice President Joe Biden and Secretary Clinton, have been calling for a tougher foreign policy stance.

There has been a widening dispute between the President and Secretary Clinton over several key points. While the major one was over Iran, Clinton disagrees with Obama's plans to open relations with Cuba, the Sudan, and Syria.

The two reportedly engaged in a heated verbal argument early this month, with the President deciding to curtail the Secretary's functions. These have included denying Clinton the ability to hire Sidney Blumenthal, a former Bill Clinton aide, as an advisor. Clinton was also absent when the President visited the G-8 conference this month. In addition, Obama sent Vice President Biden on an important trip to Eastern Europe instead of Clinton.

Rumblings of the split have been chronicled in the New York Times and the New York Daily News, but the splits appeared to be superficial in character.

However, late last week, our source acquired a statement from White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel stating that Secretary Clinton was on 'thin ice.' Most troubling to the White House have been several statements pertaining to US foreign policy which were not cleared by the White House. One was a statement in which Clinton stated that she "hoped democracy would triumph" in Iran.

Emanuel also stated to us that Secretary Clinton had been working closely with her husband in order to further policy decisions. "No offense to my former boss," Emanuel stated, "but his presidency ended eight years ago."

Whether Secretary Clinton would be asked to step down is in doubt. It is highly unlikely for a US Secretary of State to step down during a presidential term. The last time that this happened was when Secretary of State James Baker resigned from the George H.W. Bush Administration in August 1992, in a non-pressured cirumstance.

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Noah Boddie said...

Yes, hoping "democracy would triumph" is a capital offense in the Obama White House.

Anonymous said...

Where did you get this article?

Stacy said...

Nice made up article. There is no such person at the LA times nor does this nonsense appear on/in the LA Times.

But thanks for clarifying where all these "omg, there is a big rift between Obama and Hillary" stories are originating- the right wing blogosphere. Big surprise.

Noah Boddie said...

Dude, satirical does not just mean made-up. It usually means there's a humorous slant, and it is required that the satirical nature of it be obvious. Otherwise, it is just fraud.

Editor said...

I don't think you get it or what satire is. Did you ever read A Modest Proposal or the Crucible. Both are awesome satire and are not on the surface funny.