Thursday, June 3, 2010

Liberalcytosiscorposusmaniasis: The Tragic Story Behind The Dehabilitating Disease

Dear Friends,

it is my unfortunate job to make you aware of this dehabilitating disease which affects men and women across the globe and of all races, creeds, and religion. it is an equal opportunity destroyer. Please pass this knowledge on to your loved ones and friends, so they can prepare and escape the horrible fate that lies in store for them if they contract this horrible ravaging disease.

I should have you know that I am an expert in the field with this rapidy growing disease, and while there is yet no cure, my partners and I work everyday trying to find one.

'Liberalcytosiscoposismaniasis' (also reffered to as LCCM, and Liberal's Delight Disease)- This disease is a dehabilitaing disease that causes widespread physiological disorders as well as numerous neurologic disorders, including but not limited to:

Symptoms / Affliction commonly associated with LCCM

Dementia
Multiple Sclerosis
Stomach Cramps
Heartburn
Nausea
Indegestion
Upset Stomach
Diarrhea
Liberal Turrets,
Panic Attacks,
Insomnia,
Somnumbolism,
Migraines,
Arthritis,
Joint Pain,
Stroke,
Heart Attack

Though there are many more it would take a whole 30 page report to list.

If you have any of those symptoms/ afflictions, call your doctor right away and schedule a blood analysis test. This will tell if you do or do not have the disease.

Disease Behavior:

The Liberalcytosiscorposismaniasis disease, though hardly old enough to properly diagnose, is fairly easy to study because of its method of transmission. LCCM is a member of the Obamacillus family which is usually passed on through the bites of mammals, insects and even humans. After transmission the virus hides in the white blood cells, mulitplying in number until they outnumber thier host's WBC's 1000 to 1.Once cells reach the brain, the white blood cell, no longer of use, bursts and frees the toxic parasite into the cerebral cortex area of the brain. Once that is achieved, the virus sinks into the brain tissue and causes widespread nerve impulse failure. With thier small but dangerous flagellum they rewire the brain by literally moving the nerves into place. Just four hours will have passed by the time this has all occured. The host then becomes a lethal threat to all around it. The impusulses sent to the brain will be to pass on the disease to the next carrier.

Treatment:

There is no known treatment currently know to affect LCCM. Those infected should be placed in isolation as soon as possible to prevent further transmission of the disease.

Prognosis:

There is no hope for someone with this disease to once again live a normal life. The virus will control all actions. The Host becomes a flesh hungry liberal zombie.

Others You May Know With LCCM:

Barack Obama,
Hillary Clinton,
Bill Clinton,
Nancy Pelosi,
John Edwards,
Al Gore,
Joe Biden,
Dianne Fienstien,
Kristen Gillibrand,
Barney Frank

END OF REPORT

2 comments:

Matthew Avitabile said...

Sounds like scary stuff

Anonymous said...

So it is more than a disagreement!

Thanks, now I don't have to listen to their arguments anymore, I can just label them as mentally ill. Now that's true reasoned debate right there.