Monday, July 12, 2010

Joe to Gillibrand: Don't Bother Me, I'm on my Computer

RENSSELAER, NY:  Continuing his aggressive posturing in his race against Incumbent Democratic Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, Joseph Chicoine (D) has raised the stakes once again.

Responding to Gillibrand's requests for a town hall-style debate, Joe C. has reportedly stated, quote, "Don't bother me right now, I'm on my computer."  This rebuff comes at a time when Ms. Gillibrand has plummeted in the polls against Joe, garnering only 99.8% of prospective voters.

Upon hearing the rebuke, Senator Gillibrand said, "Joe's just scared.  He refused to participate in that milk drinking contest too.  And who could forget when he refused to come over my house because he said he is 'allergic' to cats?  I have his campaign poster right here, where he is clearly holding a kitty cat."

Then Ms. Gillibrand held up this picture to the press:
"And who could forget when Joe met Kim Jong Il?"  Ms. Gillibrand then held up this picture:
An extended statement made by Joe reads, "Don't bother me right now, I'm on my computer.  Did you know that Spain beat Germany in the World Cup?  I watched the U.S. game.  Man!  Oh man oh man oh man.  Uh... What did you say again?"

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