Sunday, January 24, 2010

John Edwards Praised in Haiti Relief Effort

First off, please take some money and give it to UNICEF to help the earthquake victims.

Former North Carolina Senator and Vice-Presidential candidate John Edwards has been through a lot of controversy lately. Whether it be for being too handsome or losing the 2008 Democratic primaries by a paper-thin margin, he's been under a lot of scrutiny.

But it appears that all of that has gone away now. Edwards, like Jimmy Carter, is rehabilitating his image by helping victims of the Haiti earthquake.

"Just like I flew down to New Orleans a year after Katrina to make a speech, then immediately leave," Edwards told press reporters, "I'm going to help the people of Haitianland."

After chartering a private jet to Port-au-Prince, Edwards has donated "up to $200" in his own money for direct relief and has volunteered up to three hours a day signing autographs on the beach.

"I know that the people here must be a little overwhelmed with this George Bush-inspired disaster." he said while downing a bloody Mary, "But my appearance must be the most overwhelming-- and the most healing."

Edwards is expected to stay in Haiti for up to two years, citing "domestic troubles." He has since made headlines by distributing hair gel to the local population.

"Who the hell is this guy?" asked one resident, "And why is he hitting on my daughter?"

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1 comment:

Harrison said...

I wonder how many children will be born with Edwards as the father by the time he leaves Haiti.