Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Joe Takes Early Lead in NY Senate Race

New York Senate Candidate Joseph H. Chicoine, 20, has taken a commanding lead in one of the first primary polls released in February. Chicoine, a resident of Rensselear, NY, announced last year that he would challenge incumbent Senator Kirsten Gillibrand in the Democratic Primary.

Not much has come out of the Chicoine camp in the last two months except a bizarre pro-Zombie outburst that has given Joe a sharp upturn with the living-impared community. Joe has also made the rounds, visiting the computer lab in Sherman Hall and the pond at Hunt Union. Shouting "Vote for Joe" he soon gathered a crowd of twenty students chanting "Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe" to which Joe shouted "Chicoine!!!"

Joe also threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the Oneonta Tigers Minor League stadium, even though there was no game there and no fans present.

Joe has been handing out fliers expressing his qualifications for office with the words "Got Joe?" on top. In the flier, Joe claims credit for creating four jobs by getting people on this blog to write about him incessantly.

"I've given people purpose." Joe said, "Many women live just to hope that they meet me. I'm truly an inspiration."

According to a WONY poll conducted in the first week of February, Joe is swamping Gillibrand with 67% of Sherman Hall voters. While most did not know who Gillibrand was, many were fired up about Joe's campaign. The poll interviewed three residents and has a MoE of 80%.

"He's going to fix everything." said one supporter. "He's truly the answer to our prayers."

Chicoine is planning to campaign outside of Oneonta, including a possible stop in his hometown. There he expects to garner as many as five more supporters.

Joe was confident in his campaign:

"Gillibrand, Harold Ford, it doesn't matter. There's just the Joe train and you better hop on."

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Aurelius said...

He's got my vote!

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